Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
There are some things for which you can never prepare.
No matter how much someone tells you what it feels like to get drunk with a head of state, kiss a worm or walk up to random people on the beach and insist they stop reading certain books, you'll never know until you've tried it yourself.
This is one of those moments.
I cannot prepare you. So I'll merely give you the information.
McDonald's is changing its Quarter Pounders. Yes, it seems like McDonald's is changing everything these days. Why, it just released a burger full of sweet, sickly Nutella.
It's even dumping sriracha into its Big Macs.
This, though, is far more fundamental. Because the great Kroc of Americana is changing the meat that's in its Quarter Pounders.
It's experimenting with fresh meat.
I know, I know. This is a revolution beyond rebellion. This is fundamental alteration in the axis upon which America spins.
However, McDonald's has already been experimenting with fresh patties in Dallas, Texas.
But it's now expanding to 75 restaurants in Oklahoma.
Where next? Pattiegonia? (My apologies. It's the shock.)
Please imagine. Fresh beef. Or, as you currently might know it, Wendy's. Or In-N-Out.
But no, insists McDonald's, this is much better.
Chad Shafer, the company's chef, said in a statement: "These burgers are hotter and juicer than our previous quarter pound patties and are made with fresh, 100-percent North American beef that's simply seasoned with a pinch of salt and pepper."
Hotter and juicier. And fresh as in never, ever frozen.
Will America be able to cope? Some tastes -- no matter how bad for you, no matter how many e-numbers and other chemicals they harbor -- become so familiar that when they're suddenly changed, our hearts stop and our stomach ululate in pain.
Our mental ulcers sometimes never heal.
Of course, McDonald's is reacting to such sneaky operations as Shake Shack, which has performed the perfidy of creating burgers that don't feel quite so processed. They dare to taste like food.
So the fundamentals of bottom-line glory must be sacrificed, or at least questioned, in the hope of greater bottom-line glory. I mean, in favor of happier customers.
Professionals will see issues with such daring. Won't food hygiene be more difficult? Won't speed, or -- perish the concept -- price be affected?
But please imagine a renewed joy in the thought of going to McDonald's in order to experience, well, the food.
This could change the way a whole generation thinks, eats and feels.
On the other hand, it might be one shock too many.