Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

It's tempting to think of Starbucks as a hipster who's turning 40 and desperate to be young again, while McDonald's as an old dude, post-second divorce, wondering whether to try Tinder.

While Starbucks seems to launch a new concoction every week, even offering sous-vide egg-bites, McDonald's is making its Big Mac bigger. And smaller.

Still, the burger chain is desperate to reinvent itself as much as possible. It's even trying Big Mac vending machines.

It has, though, decided to mimic something that Starbucks has been doing for some time.

During a Wall Street analysts meeting last week, McDonald's CEO Steve Easterbrook announced that the company is committing itself to mobile ordering.

It's surely a comforting idea for some. You're at a bar. You've met someone lovely.

Netflixing-and-chilling is but moments away. What more instant joy than getting on your phone, ordering some Chicken McNuggets and picking up them up on your way to you new friend's place?

Here's the one slight problem: Starbucks is having a lot of trouble precisely because of mobile ordering.

In January, Starbucks's outgoing CEO Howard Schultz admitted to the same grisly money-types that the coffee chain was suffering from congestion in its stores, caused by mobile ordering.

He claimed that Starbucks was going to do something about it, but omitted to mention what that something actually was.

Perhaps McDonald's is better equipped to handle sudden hordes of millennials, demanding their burgers now or they'll start whining.

Perhaps, given McDonald's current financial struggles, the company would be only too grateful to have hordes of millennials beating down its door, begging to hang with Ronald.

But it's one thing to announce that you're going to embrace more technology, it's quite another to train your humans to manage the results.

Imagine if your customers are suddenly encountering a traffic jam at the drive-thru. What are they going to do? Pick up their phones and cancel their orders, perhaps?

It's not as if patience is a virtue espoused by the I-want-it-now-or-else generation.

They have too many choices at their fingertips and too many apps to feed their mouths and egos.

Published on: Mar 7, 2017
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.