Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
The trouble with too many fast-food restaurants is that they're often so close together.
It's like car dealers who line up in auto malls, waiting for customers to greet each brand in turn, as if it's a wedding line.
With the fast-food joints, rivals can see what the competition is doing by just looking out of the window.
Which makes me wonder what the staff at McDonald's are going to be thinking next year.
It's going to start offering breakfast at all of its 5,900 U.S. restaurants.
Wendy's describes this as "an incredible growth opportunity."
To which McDonald's might counter that it's an incredible pain in the neck.
Breakfast is competitive enough as it is. The choices are endless and seem to depend on how easy it is to reach a particular fast-food joint without getting out of your car.
This Wendy's initiative is a problem for McDonald's because it offers palpably different enticements, such as the Breakfast Baconator and the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit.
It may be that the McMuffin will look a little tired in comparison.
Then again, McDonald's has beaten off Wendy's breakfast incursions twice before -- in 1985 and 2007.
Why did the brand with the far wittier Twitter account tiptoe away, apart from the 300 restaurants in which it currently offers a very rudimentary breakfast?
And why does it think now is the time for, um, an incredible growth opportunity?
It's a growth opportunity that will, says the company, involve hiring 20,000 more staff.
Are there 20,000 people left in the U.S., I hear you cry, who want to work in a fast-food joint?
It's easy to imagine that Burger King is the number 2 to McDonald's. Last year, however, Wendy's average unit volumes were bigger than Burger King's, at $1.6 million.
McDonald's sported $2.5 million.
Still, when there's so much competition for the breakfast dollar, McDonald's can't be amused that Wendy's has suddenly woken up.
It's bad enough with Starbucks, Burger King, Dunkin, Taco Bell and the rest nibbling at McDonald's domain.
This will be far worse, because McDonald's knows that the Wendy's Twitter account will swiftly begin to make caustically witty McDonald's jokes from the moment dawn is on the horizon.