Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
McDonald's used to be a happy place.
It's the place that had Happy Meals, happy clowns, and happy red and yellow colors.
I fear, however, that McDonald's staff currently live in fear. Of the end of the world, that is.
The company has just released new staff uniforms that leave as happy a sensation as a little green person with antennae licking your neck.
These uniforms are gray, with a touch of gray. Not fifty shades, but four.
Already on Twitter, people have described them as a portent of Dystopia. They're redolent of The Hunger Games or just a world in which the aliens have arrived and decided humans must be permanently pacified.
Is McDonald's sending a subliminal message by suggesting its employees have now joined the crew of the Death Star?
In its press release, the company insisted: "More than 70 percent of restaurant employees surveyed feel that the new uniforms provide a modern image that they would be proud to wear."
It isn't recorded whether the other 30 percent are still hiding in the freezer.
The uniforms were designed by Waraire Boswell, who apparently started his career working at McDonald's. Clearly, it left a mark.
But the company insists: "The WARARIE by McDonald's collection was styled by Waraire Boswell in partnership with Way To Be. Boswell is a celebrity designer known for dressing A-list celebrities, talk show hosts, and professional athletes."
At heart, I fear this is but one step removed from McDonald's beginning to staff its restaurants with robots. After all, it's already tried a Big Mac vending machine.
So it wants you to get used to a more metallic flavor before, one day, you realize that your server isn't human at all.
Who can wait?