Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Please lie here on my purple chaise-longue and let's play word association.
When I say "McDonald's," what's the first word that comes into your head?
I asked for just one word.
Still, my expert analysis tells me that there was one word that never entered your head.
Please let me tell you, then -- no, wait, here's a glass of fine Napa sauvignon blanc.
McDonald's just launched a vegan burger.
Breathe. Don't look down yet. (There's a picture of it there, but don't think about that now.)
The new vegan burger is imaginatively called the McVegan.
The patty is soy-based and the rest of it is, well, what you'd expect.
Now I know this is a little bit of a shock for you. An even greater shock, perhaps, than when McDonald's started experimenting with fresh beef in its Quarter Pounders.
OK, I think you're ready for the picture.
Look, if the very concept is too much for you, I'll try and give you some good news.
The McVegan is currently available only in Finland. And McDonald's hasn't given any indication that it's bringing it to the U.S.
I must warn you, however, that some people are excited at the prospect of the McVegan.
They're already yearning for it on Twitter.
@McDonalds bring the McVegan burger to the U.S. plus vegan fries, I'll guarantee they will sell. Definitely bring me back.-- Nathan Smith (@Kryptonate22) October 5, 2017
Change is life's great inevitable.
You just have to adjust. Or make sure you never go to Seattle, where they're already craving it.
Another glass of sauvignon blanc, perhaps?