Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

I tend to be a stickler about French Fries.

They should like like a little stick. They should be just a little crispy. And you should never, ever pour anything over them.

Instead, place a handy pour of Heinz Tomato Ketchup at their side. Then take a French Fry, dip it daintily in the ketchup and eat it.

I fear I may be in the minority about this.

Indeed, McDonald's believes it has concocted a new, impure French Fry that will enchant everyone whose mouth comes into contact with it.

It's currently being tested in McDonald's restaurants that are all near hospitals. I jest, naturally.

Why are they called Loaded? Well, they cost $3.99, which, some might sniff, means you have to be loaded to buy them.

But that's not the actual reason. These things are your ordinary, lovely, salty McDonald's Fries with cheddar cheese sauce and applewood-smoked bacon poured all over them.

To me, this is sacrilege. To you, this is likely heaven.

Still, McDonald's is adamant that it doesn't want you to enjoy them alone.

I know this because the ad has a very small Serves 2 written on it.

Currently, humans in parts of Pittsburgh, West Virginia, Ohio and Kentucky have been allowed to experience this new sharing joy.

I know that it's made some people happy.

Haley Stevens, for example, tweeted: "Bacon and cheese loaded fries are the greatest things ever invented."

And somewhere, the inventors of such things as the electric light and the deep fat fryer turned in their graves, astonished at the uses their inventions have been put.

I know, though, that McDonald's is immensely proud of this new contribution to the sharing economy.

For it replied to Stevens: "You're making us blush! As long as you're happy, we're happy. See you soon?"

Which some might translate as: "You're making us flush! As long as you're buying, we're happy to make Wall Street happy. See you soon for a lot more gooey fries."

Published on: Jul 25, 2017
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