Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
It was a low for United Airlines.
A new low, that is.
After becoming infamous for dragging a bloody-faced passenger down an aisle, the airline was now proposing that most of its employees forgo their bonuses, and hope to win $100,000 or a Mercedes in a lottery with very few prizes.
But now, just in time for Christmas, here's United's new idea.
It's enjoys its own entertaining aspects.
As Skift's Brian Sumers reports, the airline had gone back to its previous scheme -- where everyone could get a bonus and many could hope to get around $1,200 a year.
The criteria for success are, though, a little different.
To get an additional $75 a month, the employees will have to hope that the airline's customer satisfaction scores will go up a point. Every year.
If not, it seems they will not get their bonuses.
There's a second, more difficult metric, however. To get an additional $50 a month, the airline will have to beat Southwest, American and Delta in on-time departure.
There are many, many factors that go in to customer satisfaction and on-time departure.
Some of those involve policy decisions taken by management.
If, for example, management decides to have fewer Flight Attendants on a plane and this leads to lower customer satisfaction scores, how can this be employees' fault?
If, for example, the airline shoves far too many seats into planes and this leads to fewer on-time departures, how can this be the employees' fault?
And what if putting extra pressure on employees to get planes out on time leads to a deterioration in customer service scores?
More than that, however, these employees' bonuses will now be partly dependent on how efficient other airlines are.
What if their on-time departure rate improves, but Delta's gets even better?
And how easy will it ever be to improve customer satisfaction by another percentage point every year?
I asked United for its view and will update, should I hear.
The airline is, of course, being clever. The potential total of $125 a month is higher than the bonuses employees could earn before.
I fear many might look at the details, however, and grunt that it's likely the airline will ultimately save money.
No, United wouldn't dream of being so cynical, would it?