Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

I wandered into my local Starbucks this morning, my eyes their usual bleary.

I could just about make out that there were some instructions hanging on the wall.

Instructions for the baristas, that is.

I therefore turned to my loyal, ever-smiling (mostly) barista Kurshina and muttered: "What the hell is that?"

She wasn't offended. She understands my moods.

For hanging above her head weren't merely the instructions for making a Pumpkin Spice Latte, but also for something entirely new: The Chile Mocha.

Starbucks' customers have always enjoyed special offerings that arrive as the days get shorter and tempers shorter still.

September 1 saw the re-emergence of the Pumpkin Scone, something that has caused me more guilt that many of my past relationships.

But a Chile Mocha?

Personally, I would rather have drunken used-car salesmen dance the Macarena on my eyeballs first thing in the morning that to allow the taste of chile into my mouth.

Yet here is something that has cayenne, ancho chile, paprika, cinnamon, sea salt, and a little sugar sprinkled into it.

May I offer you a secret? It basically tastes chocolatey with a tiny hint of spice.

You, though, might be a Pumpkin Spice Latte traditionalist.

I, on the other hand, might think Pumpkin Spice Latte tastes like dipping your face into five-day old cake.

I might also tell you that a grande Pumpkin Spice Latte with whole milk and whip is 420 calories. This compares with my own grande Non-Fat Latte which has a mere 130.

But you'll be desperate to know how many calories are in this exciting new Chile Mocha.

Starbucks says that in a grande Chile Mocha with whole milk and whip, there are 390 calories. There's also 55 percent of the daily value of saturated fat and 29 percent of total fat.

You, therefore, must decide whether this is a healthier alternative to your Pumpkin Spice Latte.

I will leave you, then, with Starbucks own incitement to try it.

The company's coffee education specialist Mackenzie Karr told Business Insider that the Chile Mocha is the "hot friend" to Pumpkin Spice Latte's "bae."


The Chile Mocha. The hot friend you need to take advantage of before you go to work.

Sep 2, 2016