Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
The bandwagon is getting heavier all the time.
McDonald's is on it. So is Sea World. Those dolphins are heavy.
And now Starbucks wants a seat.
The coffee chain has announced that it, too, is getting rid of plastic straws.
Of course, some say these straws aren't exactly the last straw when it comes to pollution. They worry the real dangers -- fishing nets, for example -- will be ignored in favor of something that feels cool.
Actually, let's focus on the cool thing for a moment.
I am, of course, delighted that Starbucks is eliminating plastic straws by 2020. It's the replacement that worries me.
You see, Vancouver and Seattle -- places of considerable self-consciousness -- will be the first to experience Starbucks' new strawless sippy cups.
Plastic sippy cups.
Or, rather, a plastic cup with a sippy lid on top.
I hear you offer a cry of confusion. Please don't worry. These sippy cup lids are made of plastic that's a little more recyclable. Unlike Starbucks' paper cups, which enjoy a thin film of not very recyclable plastic.
Still, do you really want to be seen drinking out of a sippy cup? Might this be more deleterious to your image than a straw ever was?
At least straws occasionally appear in fine cocktails.
But imagine if your local bar started serving your favored tropical, pre-dinner alcoholic concoction in a sippy cup.
That would surely destroy your personal cool clout.
Perhaps Starbucks has considered this. It says it'll be creating "alternative-material straw options" for those who simply cannot be seen with a sippy.
This will all surely cause some dilemma for customers wanting their quick caffeine hit.
Let's hope those alternative-material straws become material worldwide very quickly.