Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Admit it, you're getting lazier and lazier.
Instead of going to a fast-food joint for a quick bite, you now expect the fast-food joint to bring it to you. Fast.
And what about the mornings? Do you still stand in line at Starbucks? Do you choose the drive-thru?
Or are you one of those annoying people who uses the Starbucks app and waltzes in assuming that your order is sitting there waiting for you?
Recently, Starbucks admitted that it's trying to make money any way it can and forgetting all about trying to appeal to a snootier, higher-rolling Millennial customer.
It's also, though, trying to appeal to the ultimate lazies by offering delivery.
Things aren't going too smoothly.
Skift reports that the first steps of the coffee chain's partnership with Uber Eats is showing the need to refine the menu.
Starbucks admitted that delivery seems to work well for some menu items, but not for others. Ah, just like French Fries from a burger chain, then?
It didn't reveal which items are being refined.
For me, though, there's a truly dangerous element lurking in the company's delivery idea.
In a recent chat with CNBC's under-caffeinated Jim Cramer, Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson confessed that the average time between order and delivery of the product is 19 minutes.
Will you wait that long? Do you even know what it's like waiting that long?
Johnson also explained how Starbucks believes it can get your coffee to you just as you like it.
It's another dangerous approach. The chain will make your coffee extra hot and hope that it arrives at the right temperature.
This risks allowing the vagaries of nature to intervene. It might arrive too hot or too cold, depending on, who knows, traffic or mere barista pressure.
Moreover, how perfect can a coffee be if it was made 19 minutes ago?
Starbucks currently enjoys many challenges. Its relatively new open-door policy, for example, has led to lurkers hanging around all day for the free Wi-Fi.
Yes, just as they did in the good old days.
Competition from the likes of McDonald's has also put pressure on Starbucks to prove it's worth it.
I wonder whether delivery really will be a magical way to increase business.
Or whether the inherent complications will make it all a little lukewarm.