Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

Rejoice, rejoice.

It's here.

You've been waiting so long, but now you can celebrate.

Starbucks has officially given birth to this year's Pumpkin Spice Latte.

This time, it seems to have gone for a natural birth, too.

Should you have missed this joy, the coffee chain ran a Facebook Live broadcast of a pumpkin hatching from beneath the ground.

Because that's what the Spice Latte sacrificial pumpkins actually do.

They're special.

Think of it as April the Giraffe turned into September the Pumpkin.

Starbucks adorned its pumpkin birth with witty (perhaps) signs.

Sample: "Pumpkins are attacked by sharks 100 percent more than other fruits that don't look like pumpkins."

Yet, in the midst of all this excitement -- an excitement that even spawned a Pumpkin Spice Latte support group -- Starbucks launched something else.

Something a little less enjoyable.

Yes, many Starbucks restaurants raised their prices.

What propitious timing, I hear you snort, as you gargle on your PSL.

It seems that up to 10 percent of the items at your local Starbucks may have new prices.

None of them is lower than the previous price.

I contacted Starbucks to ask whether this didn't seem like mean timing. A spokeswoman told me that the prices aren't in every store and that Pumpkin Spice Lattes aren't affected.

Each store is evaluated according to many criteria before such painful decisions are taken.

But here are all these people celebrating like Druids after dark. And there is Starbucks appearing to take advantage in the middle of their chanting.

I did, though, enjoy these words offered to Business Insider by Starbucks: "We expect 10 percent of the US customer's average customer ticket to increase by about 0.5 percent as a result of these beverage adjustments."

Oh, couldn't Starbucks have, um, adjusted the introduction of these price-hikes by even a day?

Wouldn't that have shown at least a little emotional intelligence?

I suppose the (coffee) bean counters must have insisted.

Accounting professionals are always so good at spoiling a party.

Published on: Sep 5, 2017
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