Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
What Berns inside you?
Is it the passionate will to succeed? Is it the drive to conquer all before you and be worshiped as a business icon?
Are you prepared to crush all before you, take advantage of those weaker and less wonderful than you, and gobble up anyone who stands in your way?
Here's one potential problem with this strategy: You might have to hire some millennials. And they're not too sure about this capitalism thing at all.
A new YouGov survey suggests that the under-30s would dearly love to Bern the whole big capitalist house down.
A hearty 43 percent said that they view socialism either very favorably or somewhat favorably. As for capitalism, a piffling 32 percent were very or somewhat favorable.
I can feel your eyelids shuddering and your heart beating to the jagged rhythm of Phil Collins's In The Air Tonight.
America is collapsing. Capitalism is over.
We will soon be ruled by a gray-haired man who wants to decimate Wall Street while doing nothing about guns.
I fear the mere sight of an angry Wall Street trader, in a vomit-soiled Gucci suit, clutching an AR-15 is not one to look forward to.
But what should we make of millennials' supposed distaste for the system that, many feel, is terrible save for all other systems that have been tried -- including socialism?
Well, no other age group professed the same feelings. Indeed, the oldest age group -- which still has some memory, perhaps, of the likes of Joe Stalin -- was most pro-capitalism.
Of course this could also be because they've done well out of it, while millennials can look forward to earning an average of $1 milllion less than their predecessors over their lifetime.
Then look at the society the capitalism-lovers have left for the millennials.
The younger generation see a world that is overheating with gases and greed. They see the 1 percent always needing 1 more yacht, 1 more Bentley, 1 more home in the Bahamas, while they deal with a permanent financial influenza.
Some, though, might criticize the younger generation.
Buried in their phones and their very selves, they seem to pay lip service to loving their fellow human while at the same time being more self-involved that your average lead singer at the opera.
They've succumbed to technology so easily that even the 18 to 24-year old age group is most likely to be meeting lovers on a screen, rather than in real life.
Perhaps as their world becomes virtual, their social and political views do too.
Socialism -- even Bernie Sanders's diluted version -- might sound good in theory. For many, though, it's the practice that's been the problem.
The strength, though, of millennials alleged views will surely come in the next days and months.
How many will actually go to the polls to vote for their favorite democratic socialist candidate? And how many will be too busy Netflixing and chilling?