Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Taco Bell loves giving food away.
Which may make some think the food isn't too wonderful.
Still, one of the fast food chain's favorite promotions is associated with the World Series.
If a player steals a base in one of the games, everyone in America gets a free taco.
You'd think, wouldn't you, that this was a sure bet for free food. There has to be at least one stolen base.
And so it was in last night's Game 1 that the Red Sox leadoff hitter Mookie Betts stole second.
Joy for the nation. Pain, perhaps, for those who work at Taco Bell.
Yet when you launch a promotion like this, you never quite account for the unforeseen.
After last night's Red Sox victory, the team's second baseman and outfielder Brock Holt was asked to express his enthusiasm for this extra benefit the team had given to fans.
It didn't go according to (Taco Bell's) plan.
As the Boston Globe's Alex Speier offered on Twitter, Holt expressed his love for Chipotle. And his severe distaste for Taco Bell.
I haven't eaten Taco Bell in probably 10 years. I'll probably stay away from the free taco. I'll let everyone else get it.
Perhaps he takes extra care of his sveltness, I hear you hope.
But Holt went on:
I would have to take my son [to Chipotle]. He loves Chipotle. He crushes it. He's 2 years old and eats a whole Chipotle bowl by himself. I'd have to give him my free Chipotle.
Brock, Brock. You're supposed to be with the program. The program says Taco Bell is the thing.
Holt, though, seems to bathe in too much honesty to be a shill.
His conclusion left no doubt what he felt about the quality of Taco Bell's fare:
But Taco Bell, I'm going to pretty much stay away from Taco Bell. I could end up on a toilet all night.
That's not the slogan the Yum! Brands management was hoping for: Taco Bell. You could end up on a toilet all night.
You might imagine that Taco Bell wasn't entirely pleased to hear these comments.
A Taco Bell spokesman told me:
If Holt's comments are any indication, he's just jealous he wasn't this years 'Taco Hero.' After all, not all heroes wear capes, but Mookie Betts sure deserves one.
What a heroic response, I hear you cry. He's just jealous? But of course.
Being the Taco Hero is surely every great ballplayer's aim in the World Series. A crowning achievement, one worthy of, well, a throne.
I can just imagine Chipotle's marketing team already concocting a campaign featuring Holt and his 2-year-old.
Slogan: Chipotle. Not The One That Sends You To The Toilet.
Although, there was that E-Coli thing at Chipotle, wasn't there?