Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

Soon, knowledge will be optional.

We'll have chips in our brains and we'll merely spout whatever the chips tell us.

Naturally, the rich will have the biggest chips. Well, don't they always?

But in the here and now, if you want to succeed in business, knowing how to spell remains an asset.

You look good. You look intelligent. You might even look like you know what you're talking about.

Which is why I was troubled to see a list of the words Americans don't know how to spell.

We're not talking of obscurities such as onomatopoeia

We're not talking Spelling Bee finals, either.

We're referring to everyday words that Americans have to ask Google how to spell.

You see, Google--because it had nothing better to do--recently created a list of the top How to spell... searches by state.

And there's one simple, ordinary, everyday word that seems to vex Americans more than any other.

No, it's not covfefe

  • It's not even Antifa, impeachment, or embarrassed.

The word that eight of our 50 states most often have to ask Google how to spell is beautiful.

America the Beautiful cannot express itself well enough, it seems.

I should emphasize that we're not talking about tiny states here.

California, Texas, Florida, both Carolinas, and several others simply cannot spell beautiful.

There's surely poetry in that.

While this painful, ugly fact bounced around my cranium, I wondered what had happened to us.

I also wondered why the people of Montana had so much trouble spelling comma

Did they confuse it for coma?

And why does Arizona struggle with patient, while New Mexico cannot spell patience?

Oklahoma worries me, too. It cannot deal with February

Then there's Alabama and Mississippi. The former can't cope with niece. The latter gets stuck on fifteen.

I can better understand Idaho having problems with embarrassed, as well as Oregon struggling with phenomenal.

But why would Arkansas not be able to spell family? And why, for that matter, would Louisiana have trouble with indict?

You will, no doubt, reach your own conclusions as to this data.

Does it really say anything about education, personal proclivities, or desperate fears?

We may never know.

I find myself, though, dwelling on Minnesota and Iowa.

The former cannot cope with especially. The latter can't spell loose

Ah, perhaps that's because so many loose-lipped politicians travel to Iowa and end up losing.

Published on: Jul 12, 2019
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.