Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
You've probably never even thought about it.
You likely don't even think it's legal anymore.
Facebook claims, after all, to be a utility rather than a mere product.
How could you live without it? How would you ever know when your friends have been on vacation?
Here are five blessedly simple reasons why removing yourself from Facebook would be a very good idea. For your mental health and for your career.
1. You'll get 50 minutes of your life back every day.
Yes, that's what the average human being is spending on the site these days. You're always complaining how little time you have. Just imagine what you could do with an extra 50 minutes per day. You could sleep more, write a novel, or even become slightly less obsessed about where your friends have been on vacation.
2. You won't have to worry about faking it so much.
Facebook is there for you to publicly display how great your life is. It asserts a moral obligation for you to, as the lingo goes these days, share. Imagine being free of all that sharing? Yes, that fake sharing. No more concocting a Facebook update to show how much fun you're having. No more claiming to have had an incredible weekend hiking to the corner store. This is true freedom.
3. You won't have to look at any more baby pictures.
Face it, they're so dull that they drift into annoying. People just can't stop posting pictures of their babies because their babies are just so intensely cute. To them. To you, they all look the same. Be gone with it all, breathe the fresh air of baby-free nothingness.
4. You won't get tagged after a raucous Friday night.
If you don't have a Facebook account, how are your thoughtless friends going to tag you in pictures where you're a touch disheveled and placing your nose over a piece of glassware that isn't a vase? This will do wonders for your career. HR personnel will scan Facebook and discover you're not there. Which means images of you doing untoward (but very enjoyable) things might not be there either. And if some persnickety, haughty HR person asks you why you're not on Facebook, just tell them: "Because I think ahead."
5. Your news won't be delivered to you by algorithm.
The Facebook News Feed is constructed to give you things that Facebook's machines already think you'll like. This is no different from your grandmother buying you socks for Christmas because she thinks you'll like them. You are not the sum of your Facebook activity. You are not the sum of your online activity. You are an original, fascinating, gloriously unpredictable human being. Aren't you?