Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.


None of us is quite as decisive as we like to think. I'm fairly sure that's the case.

Ideas bounce around our heads for minutes, sometimes hours and sometimes whole years before we tell ourselves that they're good ones.

Some days, we're confident that we know what we should do, but we're slightly less confident about actually going ahead and doing it.

Because who knows what awaits us on the other side?

The triggers that actually make us act can sometimes seem quite daft. We watch two boats out on a lake and we tell ourselves that if the blue boat gets ahead of the red boat when they go directly past us, we'll take that big decision.

And then the red boat wins.

One of the biggest decisions we'll make (or won't make) is to quit our jobs. Here, then, are six triggers that should help you walk straight into the boss's office and say goodbye. (Well, depending on how confident you are, you could always send a resignation e-mail first. After all, lovers dump each other by text these days.)

1. Your boss hasn't just promoted one person who's less competent than you. He's promoted two.

You should always allow your boss one mistake. These can be made. And bosses have their own favorites and their own slightly skewed way of looking at life. But when you see two people -- ones who you know can barely tie their shoelaces and chew gum at the same time -- get elevated above you, that's the time to say goodbye. Please don't look back.

2. You've been in the same job for 18 months and you're still doing the same job.

It's one thing to have the same job title. It's quite another to be doing the very same job. If you have ambitions, you'll know how to take on more responsibilities, sneak into more important meetings and generally make yourself more blessedly indispensable. But if you're literally doing the same things you were doing 18 months ago, it's time to move on.

3. You're coming home from work and you want to talk about work. All night.

Those who are slightly happier with their jobs will often come home, talk a little about it and then move on to other more interesting things. Like the collected thoughts of Ted Cruz and how they differ from the collected thoughts of Penelope Cruz. Those who are miserable with work will complain most of the night. Even if they're out drinking the finest vermouth. You can't do that to the finest vermouth. If you can't stop moaning about work, it's time to leave it behind. Now.

4. You know you'd rather be in Lisbon.

People have these strange, silly dreams. Often, they don't seem to make any sense. But if this dream persists for some time, you might want to ask yourself: "Why do I keep getting these pesky thoughts about moving to Lisbon? I've never even been to Lisbon." The subconscious works in extremely strange ways. When it's persistent, start listening. And after you've started listening, act.

5. You can see what you'll be doing in five years' time and you don't like the look of it.

Some careers can seem enticing, sexy even. You're doing well. You're earning more money. Then you look up and see what your bosses are doing. There they are, harassed and mired in 24-hour politics. The bags under their eyes look like ripples in a lake left by a smoky steamboat. You told yourself that this career was exactly for you and you quite like the job you're doing right now. But look what you're headed for. Turn back.

6. You really, really don't like Mondays.

We're told, but of course, that everyone's supposed to not like Mondays. It's nonsense. In jobs I've enjoyed, Mondays have been perfectly lovely days, garlanded with as much hope and pleasure as Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays and almost as much as Fridays. I'm not convinced that Mondays deserve universal loathing. If you really, really, don't like Mondays, what you really, really don't like is your job.