Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Everyone loves social media.
All social media, right?
They connect people. They bring uncontrolled human joy to everyone on them.
They allow for instant communication, instant impact and instant takedown of anyone we happen not to like in that very moment.
But not all social media are created equal.
Or, rather, not all social media are enjoyed equally.
The American Customer Satisfaction Index has just released its latest scores for social media sites.
You might imagine they'd be very high.
You might also imagine that trees are frothy, fish play football and the best roof for your house is made of string beans.
Indeed, some of the names that are severely below average and falling like the wine bottles from the top shelf of my fridge whenever I open it are among the best known.
Human satisfaction with Facebook has fallen by 9.3 percent. Tumblr, for those who still know it, has dipped by 2.9 percent.
But there are very famous names right at the bottom, just above MySpace -- which isn't even scored anymore because too many people think it stopped being a social network just after Mark Zuckerberg started shaving.
There's Twitter, whose satisfaction rating has dived by 8.5 percent over the last year.
It's bad enough enjoying poor quarterly results.
It's a little more troubling when your growth depends on getting more users and your existing users are apparently enduring increased disgruntlement.
True, Twitter isn't as disliked as one or two cable companies.
But, with a score of 65, it's down with troubled retailer Abercrombie and Fitch.
Still, it's not alone at the base. Joining it is LinkedIn. It suffered only a 4.4 percent drop, but this doesn't mean that it's inciting ululations of joy.
LinkedIn sometimes seem to encompass more spam than Hawaii. For some, it's as enjoyable to navigate as a Trabant sans steering wheel.
And to see it and Twitter lag a fulsome 9 percent below Instagram (the first above-average social medium, though it's dipped too) is perhaps to see why LinkedIn sold itself and Twitter is rumored to be approaching rich people in fancy restaurants and constantly reading Donald Trump's finest opus, Art Of The Deal.
Twitter didn't immediately respond to my friendly request for a reaction. LinkedIn declined comment.
There again, these surveys can harbor strange results.
What is this I see with a score of 76, a rise of 1.2 percent over last year? Why, Google+.
Yes, the site that some regard as social media's cemetery appears to be satisfying the relatively few who still twitch there.
Should you be curious as to the very peak of this survey, Wikipedia is top -- which is a touch odd, as you might not think it a social medium at all.
Just below it are YouTube and Pinterest.
Perhaps our satisfaction with social media sites is proportionate to what we want to get out of them.
Perhaps Facebook's dip reflects its status as the de facto home of everyone, everything, including every piece of dirty laundry.
Indeed, as the ACSI's David Van Amburg told NBC News of real human beings: "They're concerned about privacy and about doing the very thing that social media is all about -- putting personal information out there and then being concerned with what people are doing with that information."
Not concerned enough, perhaps.
Too many feel it's the done thing to put themselves out there in the hope of feeling so much better in here (Points to heart).
But too many then complain when companies take advantage.
Moreover, too many studies are now warning about the psychological twistedness that some of these sites are leading us into.
Research shows that teens feel Facebook likes in the very core of their brain's pleasurable reward area. (Just imagine what 14 likes does.)
Of course, another reason people complain about social media sites is the ads.
There's a certain gall about people, isn't there?
They get something for nothing and still complain.
And where better to complain than when a survey researcher comes a-calling?