Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
What you drink is indelibly tied to how you drink it.
Try drinking champagne out of a Cabernet glass and it just doesn't taste as good.
Try drinking White Zinfandel out of a beer glass and it somehow tastes more tolerable.
There is, though, a different element that's sweeping parts of America and fascinating many. Those who work and shop at Trader Joe's, for example.
For the slightly trendy store cannot keep enough of its Simpler Wines in stock.
Should you not be familiar with these new divinities, they come in two flavors and four receptacles.
You can get Simpler Sparkling White or Simpler Sparkling Rosé.
What you might find truly sparkling about it is that it comes in packs of four.
No, not four bottles. Four aluminum cans.
Trader Joe's claims that it worked with an Italian producer to create wine that actually tastes good out of the (very light) can.
Oddly, the store trades on the convenience of it all.
"With no fancy opener or glassware needed, Simpler Wines dare to venture where their bottled brethren can only dream," says its spiel. "Picnic at the beach or concert in the park? No problem. Backyard BBQ or pool party? Simpler Wines for the win."
Simpler Wines for the win? What you might find winning is that these things come in four-packs for a total price of $3.99.
Yes, you're essentially drinking $1 cans of wine. Each contains 187 ml. Put all four together and you've got a whole bottle.
Please don't put all four together. You might get far too tipsy. Share them out. At $1 a piece, that's the sort of caring sharing you can afford.
Sadly, I've not managed to try one of these aluminum-cased glories yet.
They're very hard to get hold of and seem to sell out before you've even heard they're in stock.
But should you get hold of one before I do, please let me know how it is.
Please let me know if the Sparkling White really does enjoy "notes of juicy honeydew and fresh cut herbs provide sweet sippability." Please let me know if the Sparkling Rosé has even a trace of the promised "elegant, mineral notes and red fruit flavors."
It would be disappointing if, after all the hope and hype, Simpler Wines tasted as if they weren't even worth a simple dollar.