Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

If you haven't sat on, slept on, eaten from, or eaten with something from Ikea, it's likely you've spent the past 30 years in jail.

The Swedish company has been the driving force behind cheap, stylish furniture and behind forcing you to understand little diagrams.

Now, though, the company is taking a step into the unknown. Or, rather, it's rolling into the unknown.

For Ikea has decided to launch a bicycle.

According to Dezeen, this will--as all Ikea products do--have a strange but Scandinavian-sounding name. It's the Sladda.

That seems quite easy to remember.

What might seem less easy is the idea that you'll be going to Ikea and coming out with a ready-assembled bike.

Fear not.

The Sladda will still come in a flat-pack, so the sheer joy of putting nuts and bolts into the right holes will remain undiminished.

You might be relieved to hear that the Sladda will be a unisex bike, but will have accessories that you can add on.

It will come in two sizes.

It will only come in one color, though.

Please, people. Ikea says it stands for "Democratic Design." What could be more democratic than the lovely neutral (is it gray?) color in which this bike comes?

The Sladda was designed in collaboration with design studio Veryday. The idea is that the aluminum bike should be low maintenance.

Just like all Ikea products--once you've put them together, that is.

It even has a belt drive, rather than a chain, so it won't get rusty.

Ikea did try bikes once before. However, that was an electric bike, and it fizzled.

This one is to retail for 699 euros (around $787).

I wonder whether the bike revolution--which those who ride the things and annoy car drivers tell me is happening apace--will be enhanced by Ikea's new machine.

Still, it'll be hard to resist the sheer joy and pride in being seen on an Ikea bike and declaring: "I built this thing."

Published on: Apr 15, 2016