Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

These are tough times for brands.

How can they capture even a moment of attention, when human beings are being bombarded by messages, many from Russian bots?

A temptation, therefore, is to reach for extremes.

Here's an attempt by the pomegranate juice brand that I always thought was called POM, but seems actually to be called POM Wonderful

The hero here is Jeff Kowalczyk. His claim to fame is that he nearly died.

No, this isn't a real Jeff Kowalczyk.

This is the one who got impaled by a dolphin and, for some odd reason, became so attached to it that he didn't bother to have surgery to remove it.

Oddly, he's now feeling better than ever. How, um, wonderful.

The dolphin seems quite happy, too.

It's assimilated easily into Jeff's family and even into his office.

In the middle of all this, you'll hear messages about how allegedly healthy drinking this wonderful juice might be.

You'll surely think it's wonderful that there's more than one ad.

You'll be gurgling with glee that, in one of them, Jeff and his wife discuss their sex life.

So there you have it.

POM Wonderful? POM Ridiculous? Want to run away to Pomona to get away from these things?

Ah, advertising. It has so many wonderful glories.

Published on: May 17, 2018
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.