Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

Be honest.

There are some people with whom you can't stand having dinner. 

It's not that they're not amusing, personable or even comely. 

It's that when they eat, they make a noise like an uncomfortably pregnant buffalo.

Do they even know? Who's going to tell them? Even if someone does, will they stop?

For some people awful slurping noises are natural.

Especially when they're sucking in noodles.

Finally, an enterprising fast-food company has stopped to consider how it can make things better. 

Please welcome the Otohiko fork. 

Courtesy of Japan's marvelous noodle company Nissin, this apogee of tasteful technology aims to mask the sound of noisy noodle-slurping.

The idea is simple.

The fork is constantly listening out for your unpleasant noises. Well, specifically your slurping.

When it hears that characteristic annoying sound, it triggers your smartphone to play alternative sounds.

Which is all quite clever.

Some might, though, balk at the size of this thing. It's as big as a soup ladle. 

And are you really going to carry it around with you all the time? 

Moreover, it costs $130 and Nissin claims there will be only 5,000 sold. 

If this thing is real, please imagine what a status symbol the Otohiko will become.

You'll be sitting with your co-workers eating your ramen and some bright spark will pull out their noise-canceling fork.

You will thank the Lord.

You will all politely admire, but at the same time think: "Why don't I have one of those?"

So a gadget specifically created to enhance social cohesion will end up being socially divisive.

Oh, what am I saying? Anything that dampens the din made by noisy eaters is a good thing.

I would, though, like to meet the first person who takes one of these things out in a fancy Italian restaurant.

The way some people eat spaghetti is just, well, too much. 

The mere thought of a melodious Puttanesca eater might just be worth $130.