Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Hotels are supposed to be places of repose.
You go there to enjoy a cocoon of serenity, a place where your needs have already been considered and satisfied.
Unless, that is, you're staying at the W, in which case you want to party with people who spend a lot of money on clothes.
Hotels try and entice you. None, though, surely entices you with an incentive that's really a test of your very innards.
As the BBC reports, the Countryside Hotels Group in Sweden is offering married couples who stay there a "relationship guarantee."
No, it's not about finding each of the spouses someone else to play with.
Instead, the hotel promises that if you come and stay there -- and divorce within a year -- the hotel will reimburse you.
Can you imagine how married couples will behave when they get there?
Will they be trying extra hard to find the (remaining) love within their relationship, just to get a few hundred Swedish kronor?
People have appeared on game shows for less. It's the sport that they love, not the financial reward.
The hotel group insists this is all about reminding people just how important it is to take a break.
"Relationships are something that affect most people and many are probably thinking about these issues themselves," the hotel group's CMO Anna Madsen told the Local. "So we feel that it's been well received so far."
I find the intention glorious.
I worry, however.
It's not merely the extra pressure on the married couple. They know that they're going one of the group's 40 hotels to test their relationship and see if there's anything left.
They know that this is likely to be a confrontation with all those realities that they spend the rest of their married life avoiding.
Worse, couples who already know their relationship is done could simply take advantage of this offer in order to get themselves a free getaway. (Although one problem with that is that they have to share a room to qualify.)
My greatest worry, however, is lawyers.
Let's say it all ends. Can you imagine the fighting over who should have a greater share of the proceeds from the hotel stay.
My client occupied more of the bed!
My client ate more!
You mean your client drank more!
"My client booked the stay, so deserves an administration fee!