Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
What do you want to be when you grow up, kids?
So many seem enamored with the likes of Google, where everyone is deeply committed to making the world a better place.
Might I, though, offer a different thought?
Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys and cowgirls.
But rejoice if they want to work with the cows after they've departed this mortal coil.
You see, Glassdoor's Best Places To Work Survey has just emerged.
And one stunning result is that there's a burger chain at number 4.
No, it's not McDonald's, Burger King or even Shake Shack.
Employees gush about how flexible the company is and how easy it is to rise quickly, rather than be stuck taking orders from the recalcitrant or the insanely hungry.
In the advice to management section, one employee wrote: "Keep doing an amazing job!"
Yes, with an exclamation point.
Of course, not everything is ripe tomatoes. Some criticize the politics, the tedium and, well, the tedium.
Please imagine, though, the downcast reaction from Google's management.
You give your employees food from the Gods and salaries from the most exalted Mammonites. You promise them that they'll be able to change the world if they stare at a screen for long enough.
And still they grade you below a burger chain.
Yes, Google comes in at number 5.
Tech saves face by enjoying Facebook in the top spot.
But honestly, wouldn't you rather flip burgers than wade through a million posts with questionable images and language every day?
Still, I went down the list to see if I could find another fast-food chain where employees laud their bosses.
I got to number 37 and found Kimpton Hotels and Restaurants. They serve burgers, don't they?
I kept going. I dragged past United Airlines at number 55.
Finally, there it was at number 72. Chick-Fil-A.
The place where the food is supposedly divine and the restaurants are always closed on Sundays in a mark of respect for the divine.
The only other even vaguely fast-food element in the Top 100 was Starbucks, lolling about at number 96.
In-N-Out isn't nationwide, you might complain. Neither are Facebook or Google, I might sniff.
So there you have it.
Next time you're at In-N-Out, casually offer: "I hear this place is more fun to work at than Google."
And watch the In-N-Out employee's face.