Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

It is, of course, one of the most important topics on a first date.

You're taking the measure of this new person and a voice inside you hums: "I wonder what sort of music they really love. I hope it's not Katy Perry."

Now, you don't need to worry.

You see, scientists believe they've finally found a way to predict musical preference from people's personalities.

An international group of researchers performed two studies to discover links between personalities and the music they prefer.

Somehow, they managed to find 22,252 people on the web to participate. 

They gave them a personality test that examined their mental innards for the so-called Big Five traits -- conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism and painful lack of taste.

I'm sorry, I misread that last one. It's actually openness.

Then, they played them 25 pieces of music which were not the sort that's publicly available.

You will, I fear, adore the conclusions.

Extroverts, those happy people so fond of small talk, prefer "unpretentious" music. This is characterized by its uncomplicated nature and its relaxing, acoustic qualities.

James Taylor is loved by extroverts? Who could have possibly known?

You will be stunned into listening to Philip Glass on repeat for the rest of your life when I tell you that the open sorts preferred (allegedly) sophisticated music.

This is described as inspiring, complex and dynamic.

So, Black Sabbath, then? And, um, opera?

Far worse is that these supposedly open types expressed something of a distaste for romantic, mellow music.

I've always been suspicious of those who say: "I'm an open book. Really!"

There were aspects to this research that, I confess, dragged me to the brink of guffaws.

Those who scored highly on neuroticism thought all the music was rather Meh.

Those who scored highly on agreeableness thought all the music was rather Yeah!.

I worry.

Isn't music rather correlated with mood?

Some music works perfectly on a long road trip, but I might not play it at home. 

Some music adds to a contemplative state, while other music contributes to, say, ecstasy.

And an appreciation of some types of music comes later in life, as your own personality evolves.

Can there really be one catch-all predictor?

Still, there was one personality trait that proved impossible for the researchers to correlate with a musical type. 

This was conscientiousness. 

Ah, so committed hard workers are musically all over the place? How reassuring. 

Must go. I have an urge to listen to the Stranglers' Rattus Norvegicus, followed by the new Pierre album. 

What does that say about me?

Published on: May 28, 2018
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.