Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

I confessed I emitted a snortle of mirth.

No, not because this is happening in Florida. 

It's because, well, Chick-fil-A seems to be doing something quite strange. But not half as strange as some of its customers.

On Thursday, America's most popular fast-food chain -- at least among teens -- is opening a new, freestanding restaurant on Merritt Island, Florida.

What could possibly be odd about that, you might say. 

Well, as Florida Today reports, it's but a few hundred feet from, oh, another Chick-fil-A.

Which seems a peculiar thing to do. 

Isn't it enough to have one that caters, six days a week, to its faithful and on the seventh day wisely rests?

Chick-fil-A spokeswoman Jackie Jags disabused me of my naïveté: 

We are grateful to our customers for the volume of business we do each day, and it is not uncommon for us to have both a free-standing Chick-fil-A and a mall location (or other format like an in-line or licensed location) in close proximity. In the case of Merritt Island, our two restaurants provide the opportunity to serve different groups of customers at different moments throughout their day.

Good Lord. 

There's a minute-by-minute need that needs to be catered to? Or, rather, moment-by-moment?

I can imagine customers flocking to satisfy their craving and attempting to estimate which of these two Chick-fil-A's will serve them a nanosecond sooner.

But that still isn't why I'm snortling.

You see, people are camping outside the new, freestanding Chick-fil-A.

"Is this a secret Apple store?," you might wonder.

No, it seems that this quite potty behavior is being driven by a special offer.

Ah. Oh.

100 deeply blessed customers will get a digital card allowing them free Chick-fil-A for a year.

I sit here, therefore, imagining the 100 lucky winners coming every day to Merritt Island, wondering which of the two adjacent Chick-fil-A's to patronize.

I'm sure it'll be a difficult decision.

Published on: Aug 22, 2018
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