Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
People look gift horses in the mouth all the time.
That horse could, after all, be Trojan and you never know what might lurk inside.
There are those, however, who truly deserve a real gift just because of who they are.
United Airlines wants to hear about those people and it wants to meet one of them in particular.
You see, the airline has suddenly decided to search for the hardest-working person in America.
No, it doesn't want to offer that person the job of company president.
Although United's current president Scott Kirby believes that, of course, families should pay extra to sit together, so perhaps another hard-working, but slightly more human-intuned, person could do his job better.
United's idea in this instance is to find the hardest-working person in America and send them to Tahiti for a few days.
As a little message that says: "You're working too hard, silly. Please get a life or you'll die."
This little prize seems well worth winning.
It consists of a roundtrip airfare from your hometown to Tahiti -- via San Francisco -- for two.
In Business Class, no less.
There are three stays, totaling seven nights, at various alluring Tahiti hotels.
And, just to make your return to life all the more meaningful, you get a $2,000 prepaid card for meals and other expenses.
Should you be honest enough to admit you're not the most hard-working person in America, you might choose to nominate the person who is.
It's likely one of the people who do most of your work for you, never complain and never ask for a raise.
These days, United is desperately trying to show it has a heart. Or at least, to offer the appearance.
It offers a valuable argument by revealing that 700 million vacations days go unused every year.
Is it because people love their jobs so much that they don't bother? Or is it, perhaps, that they're too frightened in case their jobs disappears or is taken over by someone else?
I only have one slight worry about this well-meaning search -- timed to coincide with United starting to fly nonstop from San Francisco to Tahiti.
What if the winner is someone who really is the hardest-working person in America and is one of those impossibly strange characters who really doesn't want a vacation?
Can a boss force an employee to go to Tahiti?
Now that would be a fascinating topic for Human Resources lawyers.