Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
I know you're already excited.
A couple of days ago, I wrote about United's latest idea, which is to offer you Priority Boarding for the very attractive price of $9.
It sounds like a cheap way to feel a touch of status.
You can prance down the gangway with all the people who have Premier Gold, Star Alliance Gold, Premier Silver, Star Alliance Silver, Customers who have purchased Premier Access, United MileagePlus Explorer, Club, Presidential Plus and Awards Cardmembers.
Yes, all of them.
I mentioned on Saturday that one of the main reasons for wanting to get on board early is to get some overhead bin space, preferably near your seat.
I didn't think, however, that United would advertise it that way.
Oh, but what do I see, if not View From The Wing presenting a United ad for the new fee that reads: "Get onboard and to the overhead bins faster."
You don't want to be caught being told that there's no more overhead bin space and you have to check your bag, do you?
That'll add to your travel time, as you wait for the bag to come off in baggage claim.
And what are the other benefits of getting on the plane earlier? Sitting down in your seat and being able to watch others strain to get to theirs?
So here is United realizing that there's one more thing that passengers used to take for granted and can now be charged for.
Partly, of course, this fee has been created by passengers themselves.
They insist on dragging too many bags that are too large onto the plane. They have no care for their fellow humans.
But there's an even more haunting aspect to United's new Overhead Bin, I mean Priority Boarding, fee.
United describes the price in its ad as "from $9 per traveler."
The airline could decide to raise this fee in accordance with, well, whatever its computers believe it can get away with.
Now there's something to look forward to.