Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

We're at the stage now where United Airlines is seeking remedies.

First, though, there need to be some people to blame.

When you've dragged a paying passenger down the aisle of a plane, breaking his nose, smashing his teeth, and generally getting egg all over your own faces, it has to be someone's fault.

Into the fray, then, step the United Airlines pilots.

Their message to you, oh appalled humans: This is nothing to do with us.

In a statement from the United Master Executive Council -- the fancy name for the United pilots' union -- the pilots disclaim all responsibility.

The pilots say they are "infuriated by this event."

"This occurred on one of our contracted Express carriers, separately owned and operated by Republic Airline, and was ultimately caused by the grossly inappropriate response by the Chicago Department of Aviation," the statement says.

Well now.

The ticket was sold by United Airlines. It flew under the United Express name. Like all major airlines, United subcontracts certain flights. This doesn't mean that these subcontractors don't follow United's rules.

So whom do the pilots blame? Why, the Chicago Department of Aviation officers who brutalized 69-year-old Dr. David Dao.

Who, though, called them in?

"By all reports, the Republic flight crew was courteous and calm throughout the event, and three passengers left the flight voluntarily for compensation. After repeatedly asking the fourth passenger to give up his seat to no avail, the gate agent requested the assistance of law enforcement," explains the statement.

So a United subcontractor called in the heavies. Where was the pilot in all this? This has remained unclear.

The pilots, though, want to absolve the Republic Airline employees too.

"Without direction and outside the control of United Airlines or the Republic crew, the Chicago Department of Aviation forcibly removed the passenger," say the pilots.

The gate agent had called the heavies in, but, gosh no, they wouldn't have wanted the heavies to behave like, you know, heavies.

And, indeed, if no one at United was actually responsible, what on earth was CEO Oscar Muñoz doing non-apologizing twice and then apologizing twice more?

Not for one minute did he suggest that this incident wasn't United's responsibility.

The pilots, though, insist: "Social media ire should properly be directed at the Chicago Aviation Department." Because this is all about proper behavior.

Perhaps, though, the pilots question Muñoz's ability to lead.

For their statement continues: "United pilots have always been the true leaders of this company, and our fellow employees count on us to continue to do what we do best --deliver a world class product and safely transport our passengers around the world."

One thing the pilots omit to mention is what should have happened instead.

Still, as this statement clearly shows, true leaders toss the blame on anyone but themselves.