Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
When you're a boss, you sometimes talk a lot.
The problem might be, though, that you talk a lot of gibberish.
This can annoy your staff to the point at which they think you're not worth listening to. Which might just affect your ambitions.
Here, then, is a new survey in which British employees declared the 50 most annoying phrases that come out of bosses' mouths.
It was commissioned by Spana, an organization that offers free veterinary care for animals in developing countries.
We run down the worst 20 on the list. Please spend your day monitoring how many of these phrases you use. Then repent.
1. Blue sky thinking. Only clouded minds say this.
2. Think outside the box. No one who thinks outside the box says this.
3. Touch base. Say this and you're out of touch.
4. Close of play. Is it me, or is this more of a British phrase, often used in cricket? Either way, it's just not cricket.
5. Going forward. If you say this, your career is going backward.
6. No-brainer. Seriously, how many people think they're so smart, yet say things like this?
7. Action that. Sigh. Do you think this makes you sound slightly Top Gun-ish? It doesn't.
8. Drill down. This tends to drive the drill right thorough people's brains.
9. Thought shower. People say this? They do? I need a shower.
10. Flogging a dead horse. This is just cruel.
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11. Hot-desking. There is nothing hot about the practice, nor about the phrase.
12. Heads-up. It seems that people are tired of being given a heads-up. They want to head-butt you.
13. It's on my radar. Yes, because you are a meteorologist.
14. Joined-up thinking. I confess I've never heard this being said. Fair warning, then.
15. Bring to the table. Meetings are like parties. Except at parties you bring a bottle. At meetings, you bring--well, what? Your laptop?
16. Punch a puppy. Excuse me? People say this? Apparently it means doing something awful that happens to be good for business. It's just undogly.
17. Run this up the flagpole. Just don't. There is no flagpole.
18. Cracking the whip. It's amazing how many business phrases involve domination, isn't it?
19. Moving the goalposts. Ah. Hmm. Oh. Not a score.
20. End of play. Because business is a sport. When it's not being a war, that is.
The rest of the list goes on and on, as business leaders can often do.
It does include classics such as game changer, it's not rocket science, hit the ground running, strategic staircase, benchmark, best practice, and play hardball.
One can draw some conclusions from all this.
Businesspeople like to use these phrases because they think it makes them sound more professional in some way. They need to find something that isn't basic English, because it means they themselves aren't basic either.
However, just like Adele's "Hello," the first few times you hear a phrase, it sounds original. The 50th time you hear it, you just want it to go away.
One other conclusion you could draw from all this is, of course, that employees are remarkably intolerant people.
Or are their jobs merely intolerable?