Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

This is the time of year when we repent.

We don sackcloth and ashes and scream at the skies because the sackcloth just doesn't fit anymore.

And that's how gyms make most of their money.

You've been excessive, haven't you? You've stuffed your face and now you can't stuff your body inside the clothes you love the most.

So you lurch toward dieting. You examine all the drinks in the corner store to check which ones have no sugar.

And, if you reach for so-called diet drinks you might be wasting your time.

No, that's not my wildly subjective view. It's the view of scientists too.

As the Telegraph reports, new research from Imperial College, London says there's no evidence linking diet drinks with losing weight.

The boffins looked at 30 years of research. They didn't eat at all through the whole process. (That was my imagination bursting through there.)

The problem with diet drinks are several, say the scientists. They still taste sweet, so your brain could still crave lots and lots of food after drinking them.

Another issue is that you think you're drinking something healthy, so you drink far more of them that is good for you.

But as I drifted down this article and pondered that my genetics will likely never allow me to be as slim as Kate Moss, Randy Moss and even Mos Def, I fell upon the words of Professor Susan Jebb.

She's the Professor of Diet and Population Health at Oxford University. She has a firm recommendation of what is the best drink to include in your I-really-need-to-be-thinner diet.

"For people seeking to manage their weight tap water is without question the best drink to choose," she said.

Tap water. Yes, tap water.

I know it's not glamorous. But frankly, losing weight isn't either. It's grim work. Stop expecting it to be a pleasure.

Indeed, one thing that diet drinks manufacturers have done very well is to market these things as vaguely sexy.

Pretty colors. Ads with sexy topless men or even David Beckham.

You drink one and you already feel more attractive before you lose an ounce. So very clever. So very shifty.

It's January. The weather is awful. Your spirits have been dampened by your return to work.

Steel yourself. Heal yourself.

You over-indulged. You chose to do it.

Now choose tap water. Hey, it's cheaper.