Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 


We're at a glorious moment in American politics.

The two likely contenders for president are individuals of great presence, who presently enjoy the lowest favorability ratings in history.

This presents them with a problem: will anyone actually want to be their vice president?

If you're going to be Trump's veep, you need to be the sort of shy, retiring flower who remains beneath the soil.

Chris Christie is currently practicing for this role, just in case.

If you're Clinton's, well, you'll likely be Deputy Veep anyway as the candidate's husband is to be standing at her shoulder and whispering into her ear most of the time.

Enter, then, Mark Cuban. The Never-Whisperer.

He's already declared that Trump has changed the game. He's already insisted that, if he could be bothered to run for president, he'd crush both Trump and Clinton.

But, having considered things, he now says he's prepared to be either Trump's or Clinton's vice-president.

He said he'd have to help Trump find actual solutions to problems, rather than mere bloviations for the nation.

He also explained that, for his independent taste, he'd need Clinton to move more toward the center.

"Could she be any closer to the center (of finance)? Wall Street loves her," I hear you say.

No matter. For her part, she's already said that she's prepared to consider businesspeople for the exalted position.

Cuban, though, would surely make a fine spectacle as vice-president.

I've already discussed in some detail why he's actually better than Trump.

The short version: He's not Trump.

The longer version: He's New World, not Old. He has substance, not merely yugeness. And he does actually appreciate foreigners, rather than wanting to build a wall to keep them out.

In the role of Veep, however, he'd likely speak his mind and openly disagree with whichever president had been elected.

When you have a president who for many is thoroughly disagreeable, this would surely allow Cuban to swiftly become the champion of the people.

Just as on Shark Tank, he'd be the person to whom real people would appeal for money when the incumbent was spending it all on wars, private servers, or gold bathroom fittings.

Imagine if Cuban had a government fund that he could share with whichever good idea he saw, bypassing the lardy oafs in Congress entirely.

Moreover, given his tech savvy, he'd make sure that government websites actually worked. Wouldn't that be novel?

He'd also be able to advise the president on spying and how to do it better.

And if the Supreme Court offered up a ludicrous decision -- well, have you ever seen the way he treats NBA refs?

You'll be fearing that in this is era in which the presidential campaign has ceased to resemble a reality show and actually become one, appointing the Dallas Mavericks owner as your vice-president is taking the maverick thing a little too far.

But given the other choices, wouldn't you think he might even bring some brains and even sincerity to the proceedings?

Wouldn't that, at least, be a step forward?