Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
It's pink and happy and sweet and tart.
It's purple and jolly and, did I mention, pink?
The Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino has been exciting human beings all over the land.
Actually, not all human beings.
Many of those who aren't so excited about this drink that changes color and taste are known as baristas.
Yes, your local young person who got up at 4 a.m., went home to change, then went to work at Starbucks, wishes the Unicorn Frappuccino would just Frapp Off.
What could have possibly led to this calamity of angst?
Perhaps the most vocal --- and amusing barista complaint came from Colorado-based Braden Burson.
He posted a plaintive cry to Twitter, in which he begged people to make his life easier.
This unicorn thing is popular. Which led Burson to scream: "PLEASE DON'T GET IT!"
"I have never made so many Frappuccinos in my entire life," he shrieks. "My hands are completely sticky. I have unicorn crap all in my hair, on my nose. I have never been so stressed out in my entire life."
He ends with: "If you love us as baristas, DON'T ORDER IT!!!"
Your emotions at this point might be somewhere along the axis of where boo meets hoo.
It's a job. It's just a promotional drink that's only available for four days. Suck it up. Use a straw if it helps.
Burson ended up taking down his little movie -- though it still lives on Facebook (see below.)
He wasn't, though, the only barista to feel pain. Florida-based Tina Lee, for example, offered this on Twitter: "As a barista, just know that every time you ask me to make this, a part of me dies #unicornfrappuccino."
Another apparent barista called Alexandria mused about Burson's video: "A perfect summarization of my day today, this frappuccino is the devil."
A Reddit Starbucks forum has lovely postings such as this from skynetofficial: "when you clock off just as a group of high schoolers come in all ordering unicorns." This is accompanied by a GIF of a cuddly character running hard to avoid explosions.
There's even a horrific image of 56 Unicorn Frappuccinos that constitute just one order at some forlorn Starbucks.
I asked Starbucks to ask if it has sympathy with those employees whose nerves are being frayed by a frilly Frapp.
A company spokesman told me: "Our goal is to ensure that both our customers and partners always have a positive experience at Starbucks. We always listen to their feedback to determine what we can improve upon. We've reached out to this partner directly to talk about his experience and how to make it better."
I understand that Burson wasn't disciplined, nor even forced to drink 10 Unicorn Frappuccinos as punishment. Though he took his video down, the company didn't tell him to -- and it's now back up.
It's instructive, though, that when you launch something that you think will be new and exciting, it's worth making sure that your employees are ready to execute.
Starbucks likely knew that this would cause a stir. After all, people love unicorns and they'll gravitate to anything that doesn't make them think about war, politics, or school.
Could it be that with existing problems servicing those customers who order online, the Unicorn Frappuccino represented an especially painful pink hell?
I did enjoy this Reddit comment from a barista with the Reddit handle orion_7: "Hey guys, be sure to Recognize and Appreciate your customers who order 'Tall Black Coffee' these next few days... They're [sic] Delight is keeping us sane."
Well, only just.