Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
To many employees, CEOs are a figurehead.
They're more like a logo than a real person.
Employees hear about them, but don't see them. Quite often, they think of them as far too important to bother with, say, the Wyoming outpost.
Accenture CEO Pierre Nanterme thought he'd try something different.
As the Chicago Tribune reports, he beamed himself into Chicago.
No, he didn't get Scotty to propel him from Paris to Chicago in less time than it takes to bite a baguette.
No, he got someone called Philippe to do it. (Name made up by me.)
Nanterme was projected onstage as a hologram at a company meeting, where 500 Accenture executives sat there admiring his forward-thinking skills, or thinking: "That's the nincompoop who won't approve my raise."
He wasn't, though, the only Accenture executive to appear in spirit rather than in body.
Human resources chief Ellyn Shook was all shook up into the sky, as her image appeared and she virtually fist-bumped her CEO.
They must have thought this deeply alluring. They must have thought this accentuated the company's brilliant, forward-thinking corporate ethos.
Perhaps they should have thought ahead.
Soon, you might not be able to have a team meeting without the CEO deciding he's going to beam himself in and disrupt everything. CEOs know next to nothing about the daily operation of the business.
If they beam in, it's a recipe for chaos.
But there's worse.
Please imagine that you're sitting in your cubicle, trying to concoct a consultancy proposal that will benefit your client and earn your company a 50 percent profit margin.
You're bored. So you decide the surf the Web for a little while.
Here, some sports. There, a little online underwear shopping.
Suddenly, you hear a voice grunting: "What the hell do you think you're doing, Snodgrass?"
Worse, the voice has a peculiar French accent.
At first, you're not even sure where the voice is coming from. Both physically and emotionally.
You turn around and there is your CEO. Wait, it's a hologram of your CEO.
He's spying on you with such an invasive virtuality -- and you can bet he thinks it's virtuosity.
With technology's help, he can descend upon when you least want him to.
He can put you in a state where you're permanently fearful that he will corner you in the most difficult of places -- please, the mind boggles with the disturbance of a boiling kettle.
Imagine you are in the restroom, literally just taking a rest.
Suddenly, you hear a voice: "You've been in here 15 minutes, Snodgrass. Get back to that proposal."
If you're not worried, you should be.
If you work at Accenture, bon courage, as they (virtually always) say in Paris.