Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Contemporary times have shown us that shows of strength only go so far.
You can claim you'll pulverize everyone in sight.
Somewhere, though, human minds are thinking: "Eh, you're not all that."
Consider, then, Death Wish Coffee.
When they invented the name, they must have thought it clever.
This, you see, wasn't a coffee specifically designed for the North Korean leadership market. Instead, it was billed as "the world's strongest coffee."
Just to reinforce its sheer intimidation factor, its logo was a skull and crossbones.
The brand had such belief that it promised: "We will refund you in full if it's not the strongest coffee you've ever had." (The bold type is theirs.)
Now, however, is a time to be a little less bold. There's a problem, you see.
Death Wish Coffee could kill you.
It seems cruel, doesn't it?
However, the company announced: "After several rounds of testing, a process specialist has recommended that we add an additional step to our nitro process."
The potentially deathly problem lies in the 11-ounce cans of Death Wish.
They might just contain botulin.
If this word might remind you of botulism, well, that's because they're rather related.
As the National Center for Home Food Preservation explained, Clostridium botulinum bacteria can hang around harmlessly in the open. For example, in water.
Put them, however, in a moist, low-acid food, at a temperature between 40° and 120°F and with less than 2 percent oxygen around and you're asking for trouble.
These conditions, sadly, seem to match those in which Death Wish Coffee is canned.
No deathly incidents have been reported. However, Death Wish is taking the portents seriously.
It's offering refunds and telling any customers who have a can to throw it away.
"Our reputation matters more than our finances at this point," Death Wish founder Mike Brown told the Washington Post.
What lessons, though, can one learn from this painful situation?
Be careful what you wish for.