3 Leadership Lessons From ‘Paradise Hotel’

Twenty years ago this week, the first episode of Paradise Hotel aired on Fox. I would appear in episodes 2 through 31, becoming a bonafide reality TV star on an early hit show. The show featured sexy singles at a luxury resort, and me, which made for excellent television, if a difficult journey for me at times. 

I’ve been fortunate to have had a wonderful career in the past 20 years, starting several companies, writing several books, and, most important, meeting, marrying, and going into business with the love of my life, Carrie. Still, on this 20th anniversary, I look back at my time at Paradise Hotel and see some lessons that I’ve learned, and continue to apply as a leader. 

1. You can always find common ground with people 

When I first arrived at the $20 million home in Acapulco where Paradise Hotel was filmed, I was intimidated by the very good-looking young people who were surrounding me. I felt like I had very little, if anything, in common with them. Several of them had never met a Jewish person before, for example. But the more I spent time with them, the more I realized I can always find common ground with people. We played tennis and backgammon together. We talked about fears, hopes, and dreams. I went from being the outcast on the show to making friends with just about everyone, which kept me there until the end. In our careers, we often run into people we don’t immediately have a rapport with, and we often have people at our organization or vendors or clients whom we might not be best friends with outside of work. But if we can find common ground with those people, we can build relationships that will benefit us in the long run. 

2. It’s always about storytelling 

Fairly early on, I realized that the competition to stay in paradise was as much about showing the producers that I could help them tell a great story as it was about an actual competition. I realized that what they were after wasn’t a fair game to decide on the winner — rather they were after the best possible story to make good television. Once I realized that, I gave them a great story. In fact, I even suggested on air several ideas such as Vegas Night, which ended up becoming integral to the plot of the show. As leaders, we are always storytelling, whether it’s painting a picture of what’s to come to recruit top talent, telling a story to your prospects to help sell them, or telling a story to investors about why you are the right team to solve a problem. Great leaders tell great stories. And if we all think a little bit more with our storytelling and TV producer hats and less like salespeople and entrepreneurs, we will be better off. 

3. There are no failures. There is only action and inaction

Those of you who actually watched the show 20 years ago know that while I made it to the end, in the final scene I lost the money. At the time I was devastated, but the truth is, failure can hold us back only if we allow it to. In the 20 years since then, I have failed many times, but I have also succeeded along the way. I have watched as many folks afraid of failure end up not taking action; not starting companies, not changing careers, not going for the degree they always wanted. It’s when you stay on the sideline that you fail. When you go for it, as I did by going to Paradise Hotel, and as I’ve done dozens of times since then, by starting companies, (most of which have failed) you either succeed or you learn. There is truly no failure — only learning, growth, action, and inaction. 

If you are still on the sideline about something you really want in life, I hope you can use this as a little piece of inspiration to help you go for it. Or if you just want to laugh, take a look at this Paradise Hotel clip from 20 years ago, once called by E Entertainment television, the 22nd-most outrageous moment in TV history. 

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