Ever heard of ambiverts?
It is a relatively new term that describes people who fall in neither the introvert nor the extrovert category as defined in the good old Meyers-Briggs scale. There is a lot of debate among people if "ambiversion" is real and if ambiverts exist. In fact, my Word processor shows a red line under the word.
Nevertheless, here we are because a lot of people can't identify themselves as either of these two extreme personalities and fall somewhere in between. There are scores of ideologies about ambiverts (none scientific) but what follows pretty much describes them.
Ambiverts love curling up on the couch with their favorite book but are not averse to letting their hair down on the dance floor either.
Ambiverts hate over-socializing but they can't be alone for a long time as it makes them lonely and depressed. Go figure.
In a room full of shy introverts, an ambivert would seem confident and outgoing, but would be withdrawn when in a room full of brash, loud extroverts.
This is all well and good if your job doesn't involve meeting or managing people. But if you are in a senior position or need tonetwork a lot, you are in a fix. You not only need to be confident but also be communicative, both qualities that most ambiverts don't possess.
If you see yourself as an outgoing introvert or a mellow extrovert and find it difficult to deal with people at times, here are some actionable ways you can get boost confidence and communicate on good days and bad.
Get into the 'frame of mind' quickly
Ambiverts take time to open up. In fact, it is believed that ambiverts are introverts who have along the way become more confident and outgoing to keep up with the world.
However, your introverted personality can interfere with your confidence and it can take time for you to get into the frame of mind required to socialize with ease.
Tim Fargo, American author, keynote speaker and CEO of Tweet Jukebox has excellent advice for it.
Every time he heads out for an important meeting or socializing, he dwells on positive thoughts and memories to pump him up. According to him, a person isn't born with confidence but develops it going through tough times and facing fear.
Find alternate ways of communicating
Extroverts are easygoing and love to talk. Introverts might be in the room for hours but go unnoticed. Communication is one more area where ambiverts are neither here nor there.
For instance, an ambivert boss can appear to have mood swings because on some days he or she talks someone's ear off while on others, sits silently punching away at the keyboard.
If you find yourself sailing in the same boat and don't want to be labelled as moody or impulsive, find alternate ways of communicating.
So you can't stand the idea of one-on-one meeting today? No problem, just talk over Skype or send an elaborate email. Can't manage that too?
You could try using workflow management software; they have excellent communication tools that get the job done in as few words as possible. Develop a habit of communicating using more ways than one, so no feathers are ruffled on your low-key days.
Plan your days in advance
I'm self-sufficient. I spend a lot of time on my own. And I shut off quite easily. When I communicate, I communicate 900 percent; then I shut off. - Bjork
This is a classic example of an ambivert.
Attending too many social gatherings, meetings and networking for a long stretch can exhaust ambiverts. While you can rise to the occasion, you can't do it incessantly and need to recharge yourself.
The best way to deal with it is to plan days in advance and ensure there is always a breather between important meetings and networking events.
Also it makes you feel like you are in control of the situation. This is a key point as ambiverts don't easily like to let loose of themselves.
A lot of scientific and psychological studies describing personalities were done years ago. People are changing and evolving. Technology is also interfering with our psychologies. So it has become imperative that we start recognizing and accepting different personalities.