Anyone who's followed this column for any amount of time knows I love coffee. In previous posts, I've explained why coffee definitely helps you live longer, why working in a coffee shop is better than working in an open-plan office, and how to make the perfect cup of office coffee.

  1. "Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven't had our coffee, in which case we feel 107." 
    Martha Beck
  2. "I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake."
    Lewis Black
  3. "Coffee is already known to be a preventative factor against mild depression, Parkinson's disease, and colon and rectal cancers."
    Chris Kilham
  4. "Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?"
    Steven Wright
  5. "Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed isn't a sophisticated task for a person, but it's hard for a robot."
    Vijjay Kumar
  6. "Even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all."
    David Lynch
  7. "I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup."
    Eddie Izzard
  8. "I quit coffee. It won't be easy drinking my Bailey's straight but I'll get used to it. It'll still be the best part of waking up."
    Megan Mullally
  9. "I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'"
    Jim Carrey
  10. "If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever."
    David Letterman
  11. "My children know not to shout before Mummy has warmed herself into something human with her coffee."
    Ben Kidron
  12. "Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon."
    Jilly Cooper
  13. "Never trust anyone who doesn't drink coffee."
    AJ Lee
  14. "Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second."
    Edward Abbey
  15. "Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break."
    Earl Wilson
  16. "The smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the world's greatest inventions."
    Hugh Jackman
  17. "Three hundred years ago, during the Age of Enlightenment, the coffee house became the center of innovation."
    Peter Diamonde
  18. "Up to a thousand milligrams of caffeine is considered safe for most people, which translates into about 10 cups of coffee a day."
    Michael Greger
  19. "When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas..."
    Emo Philips
  20. "You can't have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together."
    Adam Gopnik
  21. "We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup."
    Jerry Seinfeld