With Just 3 Words, Michael Jordan Describes the Mindset That Separates Achievement from Disappointment

I’ve interviewed a number of professional athletes and asked many the same question. “What drives you more: wanting to win, or hating to lose?” 

None has ever said, “Wanting to win.” They all hate to lose. (For some, winning never really sparks joy; because it means they don’t have to deal with the pain of losing, their initial feeling is relief.) 

And then there’s Michael Jordan. During his rookie year with the Bulls, a beat writer played Jordan in ping pong, and won. As the story goes Jordan bought his own table. Practiced for weeks. Challenged the writer to a rematch. Won. And then sold the table.

Or there’s the time Jordan played golf with NHL legend Jeremy Roenick. According to Roenick, Jordan asked him to play golf the morning of a Bulls night game against Cleveland.

As Roenick tells the story:

We went and played a round, and I beat him for a couple thousand (dollars). The Bulls play Cleveland that night so I’m thinking he’s leaving. He says, “No, let’s play again.” So we fill up a bag full of ice and beer and we walk another 18 (holes) and I take him for another couple thousand. 

We’ve been drinking all afternoon and he’s going to the stadium to play a game and, messing around, I said, ‘I’m going to call my bookie and put all the money you just lost to me on Cleveland tonight.’

Jordan says, ‘I’ll bet you that we win by 20 points and that I have more than 40.’ And I’m like, ‘Done.’ 

And the son of a gun goes out and pours in 52 and the Bulls win by 26, after playing 36 holes and having 10 beers.

Jordan liked to win.

But he hated losing.

As Jordan says:

I hate losing. It’s not even a question.

But I respect losing, because losing is a part of winning. You have to lose to win: how can I do things differently? How can I change?

Before you can look at someone else, you have to look at yourself in the mirror, because that’s how things get started. You have to be willing to change.

Granted, hating to lose can be taken to extremes.

But healthy competition can provide motivation. Healthy competition can spark creativity and innovation, raise performance, and help individuals and teams accomplish goals.

So how can you reap the benefits of competition? How can hating losing help you win?

Find someone to compete with. Like me, and the more successful (at the time) columnist. Like Jordan, and, well, seemingly everyone.

Maybe your competition will be actual competition. Or you can pick a business or a person you don’t directly compete with but still decide to take on. Pick someone you want to beat, but more importantly, don’t want to lose to.

In the process, you’ll establish meaningful benchmarks. What does your competition do well? Define, quantify, and set targets accordingly. You can’t compete until you determine what your competition does well.

You’ll borrow tools from a proven toolbox.  Innovation is important, but why reinvent certain wheels when existing wheels already work extremely well? Determine how your competition achieves results and look for processes, competencies, concepts, or strategies you can use.

You’ll meaningfully differentiate. What are your strengths, and how can you leverage those strengths to deliver what is most important to your customers or your boss? The more you know about your competition, the easier it is to differentiate in ways that truly matter.

And you’ll develop greater focus. If your enthusiasm dips, just picture your competition moving ahead, and you’ll quickly shift back in gear.

Just remember your goal is to “win” on merit. If your competition is another business, beat them with higher productivity, better quality, greater market share… whatever form of competition you choose. If your competition is another employee, work hard to gain skills, land visible assignments, and earn that promotion on the basis of merit.

Always take the high road. Otherwise, even when you win, you still lose.

Also, keep in mind the concept of “winning” is often relative, especially when the competition is one-sided and visible only to you. Your enemy may never know you were competing.

And that’s okay, because if finding someone you don’t want to lose to helps you achieve more… there are no losers.