Want to Make a Big Change in Your Life? Spend Some Time in the Neutral Zone

Just about every time you open a browser these days, you’re confronted with another new workplace trend. There was the Great Resignation (also sometimes called the Great Reshuffle or the Great Breakup), quiet quitting (and quick quitting), and the Antiwork movement (apparently called Lying Flat in China). These trends are great for driving clicks, but what if they’re all really just new names for the same underlying phenomenon?  

After the pandemic, a lot of folks really, really want to make some fundamental, root-level changes to their lives. And while the explosion of stories about high quit rates and emboldened employees suggests some people are managing to renegotiate their relationship with their work, the sad truth is a lot of folks are probably going to end up stuck in the dreaming stage forever. 

What sets apart those who actually manage to make major changes from those who perpetually hope to transform their lives but never manage to do it? Veteran journalist and podcast host Manoush Zomorodi thinks she knows. 

What’s the neutral zone? 

Zomorodi has spent her career talking to professionals about the arc of their careers, and on the TED Ideas blog recently she revealed a pattern she noticed in both the lives of her guests and her own professional journey. Those that successfully managed big changes all used a similar tactic — the neutral zone. 

What is the neutral zone? Zomorodi didn’t originate the concept. It comes from a philosopher named William Bridges who studied leaders navigating big crises in the 1960s. Bridges “found that the best leaders, the ones who kept drama to a minimum and got their employees through the stress most smoothly all did something very important: They did … well … not too much,” reports Zomorodi. 

Bridges called this fallow period in which leaders responded to big changes by observing, absorbing, and just thinking, the neutral zone. “And he believed that it was crucial for keeping a big change from turning into a big crisis for both companies and individuals,” Zomorodi reports. 

We’ve all got s–t to shovel. 

The neutral zone was not just crucial to leaders during the Johnson Administration. Too many of us rush things when navigating radical changes these days, as well. We quit our corporate jobs and start pitching investors on our startup idea the next week. We step back from our careers on Friday and try to pick up a pen to write the Great American novel on Monday. 

Sometimes economic worries make a quick transition feel unavoidable, but Zomorodi suggests jumping from your old life to a new one with no break in between rarely works. 

“Before we take the first job offer or move across the country or take out a big loan to start a company or even consider what we want to do next, we need to make peace with the old chapter ending and sit dormant for a bit,” she writes. 

This reminded me of a quote from a recent Brené Brown podcast describing her own experience of going on sabbatical: “I’ve spent 90 days shaking the s–t out of trees, and the success for me at the end of 90 days is, I’m in a field, and all the s–t’s out of the trees now, and I can see it.”

If even renowned therapists like Brown find they have lots of formerly hidden issues to process when they finally slow down, no doubt the rest of us are also going to find ourselves surrounded by the mental equivalent of a field of cow patties when we try to make a big change. You need to give yourself time to do a little shoveling. 

Clearing all that manure isn’t generally pleasant work. “The neutral zone may mean deciding to say no to new opportunities; telling yourself that that tight feeling in your stomach is to be expected; coaching yourself to stick to a routine that includes healthy food, good sleep, and some exercise; or something else,” cautions Zomorodi.

But if you really want to make lasting, positive change, it’s also necessary. “If we skip the neutral zone, we run the risk of repeating — even possibly regretting — where we end up,” she warns. 

So what do you do while you’re in the neutral zone? 

Does that mean that if you’re making a big change you should spend a couple of months staring listlessly out the window? Kind of. The point isn’t just rest (though a lot of us could really use some of that), but self-reflection. 

“Don’t think about your next career move, or try to pin down your ambitions. Just be with your brain. Rev your engine in neutral. And when it feels right, fill in the blanks in this sentence: I would describe this moment in my life, work, or career as [blank] and [blank]. And I wish I could [blank],” suggests Zomorodi. 

When we run away from a bad situation, we don’t usually give a ton of thought to where we’re headed. Anything looks better than the dumpster fire we’re fleeing, which means we risk fleeing from one bad situation to another. You need time to catch your breath, look around, and decide where and how exactly you want to rebuild your life. And that takes time. 

Even if it means dipping into savings or taking a lesser job just to pay the bills for awhile (there’s no shame in that — here’s a burnt-out executive who swears a stint working at an Amazon Warehouse helped him re-imagine his life), try to spend some time in the neutral zone before making a major change in your life. In the end, you’re far more likely to end up somewhere that genuinely makes you happy.