If things are starting to look a little hairy around your office, it's no mystery why. We're now a full week into "Movember," which means many men around the country put away their razors days ago and are well on their way to growing some facial hair in the name of men's health charities (with the help of facial hair-free allies, of course).
While the first upper lip stubble to appear probably looks pretty similar across the country, as the weeks roll on, you should expect to see some pretty interesting facial hair taking shape (and some pretty stiff competition for most impressive 'stache in the office).
That's according to Google, which helpfully released a rundown of what search data is saying about how Movember 2019 is likely to shape up. According to the numbers things are looking... creative.
Thanks for the Movember inspiration, Google.
"This year, gentlemen are gravitating toward the traditionally bushier upper lip adornments, and maintenance is top of mind. Search interest in cowboy and cop mustache styles--and mustache wax to keep them tidy--is up more than 5,000 percent since last year," reports the search giant.
Other styles are seeing a surge in interest as well: both the ultra thin John Waters-style pencil-stache and the horseshoe mustache, which luxuriously extends to the chin (think rocker Lemmy), are much googled as well. Retro sideburns and the "soul patch" style are also seeing spikes in interest.
But while some trends are national, other mustache options are regional. When Google broke down the data to figure out which facial hair trends were uniquely popular where, the company found six states were particularly keen on the good ol' handlebar style, while another four are obsessed with the classic goatee. Some states, however, are going with wilder styles this year (commentary is Google's):
Arizona: Circle beard (mustache plus rounded goatee combo)
Colorado: Braided beard (one braids or two, it's all up to you)
Delaware: Chinstrap beard (a razor-thin beard that follows the jawline)
Idaho: Monkey tail beard (asymmetrically shaved to look like a curling "tail")
New Jersey: Huge beard (as opposed to tiny)
South Dakota: Glitter beard (start with gel, add glitter, and voila! A bedazzled beak)
Virginia: Beard dreads (not just for the top of your head anymore)
Washington, D.C.: Chevron mustache (the bushy-yet-perfectly-shaped classic)
Washington: 70's mustache (isn't this redundant?)
Personally, I'm pretty proud of the men of South Dakota for brightening up the November gloom with a bit of sparkle and also impressed with the artistic commitment of the asymmetrical shavers of Idaho.
Whether you're willing to go full glitter this year or not, one thing is clear. If you're looking to win your office's annual mustache off, half-hearted efforts are not going to cut it. The internet has spoken and it's clear that Americans are all in for Movember with adventurous styles. If you want to triumph, your standard Burt Reynolds just isn't going to cut it.