What you tell yourself can be more important than the feedback you receive from others. That's a basic outlook about how to live and work that will make all of the difference in terms of your own self-worth. If you believe you add value, you will be happier--and it's more likely you will do amazing things. If you spend most of your time sulking around and complaining, you won't feel fulfilled.
It might sound ridiculous--depending on who is in the room--but I firmly believe that saying these phrases aloud to yourself can help you find fulfillment. It's almost like you need to hear these phrases, but you can't rely on anyone else to say them consistently. Will you try it today? Let me know if you do.
1. "I have value as a person."
It's amazing how many people I talk to in an office setting think what they're doing doesn't have value. They have no clue about their own self-worth. Every person has value! We all have a unique blend of skills and experience. The important thing to remember is that not everyone will constantly remind you of that fact. Write down a list of your contributions and vocalize the inherent qualities that separate you from everyone else. Speak the truth to yourself.
2. "I'm intelligent."
Don't believe this one? Check the dictionary. The word "intelligence" means an ability to acquire knowledge. If you work in an office today, you were put there for a reason: You are not just a knowledge worker you are a knowledge accumulator. You may have a high emotional intelligence or an innate ability to encourage people, but you can still learn even more about other topics. Few of us will figure out how to end world hunger, but we can still keep learning and growing.
3. "I'm uniquely gifted for this set of tasks."
Part of your value in an office setting comes from your unique abilities. No one quite has your exact blend of personality traits, education, training, intelligence, or outlook on life. Use that to your advantage...today. It's important to avoid the trap of thinking you duplicate what someone else is doing on your team or at a company because that's never the case. Remind yourself on a daily basis how your contribution matters because it can only come from you.
4. "My time is important."
This one can help when you start thinking about your schedule. That fear of duplicating work or not offering a unique contribution comes into play when you plan your daily activities. Do you need to attend the status meeting? Is it better to meet one on one with the boss? Is driving across town better than picking up the phone and making a call? The determining factor for many daily business decisions is whether it is worth your time, not if it consumes someone else's time.
5. "I will do this my way."
This one's more important than you think. Whether you make a big contribution at work depends at least in part on your own confidence level. If you think you will accomplish a big task, you probably will. If you are not sure, you have already lost half of the battle. Finding fulfillment at work is mostly a matter of having a positive attitude about what you can accomplish. The key is to view your workload as uniquely proportioned to your own skill set.
6. "I will not fail."
I've written about perseverance many times. It's the one great determining factor in success. It's what made Bill Gates and Warren Buffett and Elon Musk so successful. They simply refused to accept defeat. They never let failure become a way of life. Start the day by claiming victory. Tell yourself, this will be my day of success. Then, make sure that is how you live today. Do whatever it takes to turn any glimmer of failure into a shining ray of accomplishment.
7. "I'm not alone."
You have a team around you, a family who loves you--come on! Stop feeling like the walls of isolation are closing in. They're not. It can help to remind yourself--out loud--that you have people who care about you. It also helps to think back to a time when you really leaned on friends and family, or felt strongly connected to a community. Make it happen again.