Have you ever been stuck in transition mode?

Looking for a new job, ending a relationship that went sour, or simply trying to find new meaning and purpose in life can be hard. It's not always easy because anything new is also unpredictable which can lead to confusion.

Being in transition isn't always a bad thing, however. 

I've learned to change my perspective about what feeling stuck really means. 

It's really an opportunity. When you start seeing transitions as the door to new possibilities, that's also when you'll start feeling unstuck and ready for the next adventure.

It's all about your frame of reference.

I was once in a transition from a corporate job to a writing career. It was a perilous time, not something I would wish on anyone. I couldn't pay the bills and it put me into a constant state of indecision. I wondered why I had been "picked" for this transition.

Sitting in my office one day, I realized that the end of one thing is the beginning of another. My issue is that I had not discovered my new beginning yet. My wife had suggested writing. I started feeling unstuck the moment I pursued this new career.

That was over 18 years ago.

The transition itself is not really the problem after all. That feeling of being stuck comes from not properly releasing what you've been released from. And "released" is the right word because it implies new opportunities.

The way to get unstuck is to stop seeing yourself as stuck in the first place. Life is short. If you can't let go of the past--whether it's a work conflict, a relationship, or a job you loved--it's incredibly important to take a step back from the situation.

Once you define being stuck as being unable to release something, you can then let go of it. Then you're free to explore an entirely new direction in life.

It can help to ask questions like:

What do I really want to do?
What did I like so much about the previous situation?
What did I learn about myself?
What new possibilities exist?
How will they challenge me?
Who can help me move forward?




Answering all of these questions, releasing the past, exploring new opportunities, and embracing the change and the unknowns of life is what will help you move forward. Now the question is whether you will actually do that. Will you release the past?    

If you need help, drop me an email. I can offer some more specific suggestions.

Published on: Oct 28, 2019
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.