Success in life can be elusive. If you lack confidence, it can be even harder to find. You stumble around in a dark room, stub your toe a few times, and slam into the wall. There must be a better way, but it can feel like there is never a light switch when you need one.
The answer is to identify the traits that are creating that lack of confidence, then correct them. Life doesn't have to be so unpredictable and random. Here's how to address the problem.
1. Stop waiting for other people to resolve issues.
The biggest sign of insecurity is a tendency to wait for assistance. Confident people never do that. They initiate a plan, they fall into action. When you overcome this tendency, mostly by deciding to live with a different mantra, be ready for some failure. You might charge ahead and make bad decisions, but that's often the only way to learn and turn failure into success. The important point: Never sit around and wait for a resolution. Be the one who makes it.
2. Invest in yourself first.
Be careful with this one. The best way to live is with the mentality of helping others. That should be the real driver for success. (The only alternative is narcissism.) Yet, you have to invest in yourself before you can help others, and people who lack confidence never do that. They give and give without realizing they have to meet their own needs in order to help others. A sure sign that you lack confidence in yourself is when you skip meals, don't get enough sleep, and don't invest in your own training and development. Putting yourself first shows you have the confidence to be helpful to others instead of just another peg on a board.
3. Learn to accept the resources you have.
It's almost magical how people who find success seem to do it out of thin air. They throw some pixie dust on a new product or service and it suddenly grows. Right? Not really. People with a strong level of confidence figure out how to persevere and push beyond what is expected. When you accept that you have to use the resources you do have, you gain confidence. And, you get creative. You figure out that nobody ever uses pixie dust to succeed.
4. Stop blaming.
Did you know this tendency to blame others is a sure sign of a confidence problem? It comes from a sense that you have limited skills and abilities, a margin between you and success. If only other people would come to your aid and provide more resources for you to succeed, then everything would be suddenly fine, right? Fight that tendency. It's much better to avoid blame altogether. Persevere through any setback until you find the answer.
5. Speak up.
One last red flag: Avoid the tendency to stay silent. In a meeting or when you are working on a team, you reveal to everyone that you lack confidence when you sit idle. Those who have a strong sense of confidence tend to throw out ideas and see which ones land. They take a risk with their own ideas, even if it means getting into a debate. Even if you're not that confident in the idea, be confident in yourself. The alternative is that you have good ideas but no one realizes it because you don't share them. That's the same as not having good ideas.