Are You an Introvert or an Extrovert? It All Comes Down to Just 1 Thing

Think about the last party you went to: Were you the focus of attention? Or, were you more comfortable milling around the edges, spending time with one or two people?

What about afterward? Were you drained, in need of time for yourself? Or, were you looking for the next party, another chance to hang out with others?

The way you answer these questions reveals a lot about your level of extroversion, one of the traits in the big five model of personality, a widely accepted psychological theory.

What exactly is extroversion? Why is knowing how extroverted you are important? And what does extroversion look like in the real world? The answer to those questions will help you get to know yourself by building your emotional intelligence, so you can better understand and manage your emotions. (Sign up here for my free email emotional intelligence course.)

What is extroversion?

In simple terms, the personality trait of extroversion refers to the state of finding joy and fulfillment from what is outside one’s self.

Extroverts get energy from others. They enjoy social interactions, as well as working in groups or teams. They’re comfortable around most people and enjoy discussing ideas, or thinking out loud.

In contrast, people who have low levels of extroversion, known as introverts, find joy and fulfillment from within, engaging with their own thoughts. They derive energy from being alone or with one or two close friends.

They may appreciate the benefits of social interactions, but after engaging socially they usually seek solitude, to recharge.

It’s important to recognize that, like the other big five traits, extroversion exists on a spectrum.

In other words, people aren’t 100 percent one way or the other. Most people will exhibit traits from both ends of the spectrum. However, you may find that you lean more toward one end or the other.

Why is knowing about extroversion important?

Knowing about extroversion can help you understand your needs and limits when it comes to spending time with others. This will help you identify the stress behaviors you show when those needs aren’t met.

Additionally, knowing your level of extroversion can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, and work to leverage these.

What does the extroversion spectrum look like?

If you have a high level of extroversion, meeting new people and starting conversations probably comes easily to you. You’re likely to have a wide circle of friends or acquaintances.

Talking about yourself and your accomplishments doesn’t cause you embarrassment. Because of this, you easily leverage opportunities for sharing, learning, and collaboration.

On the other hand, others may struggle to keep up with your energy level in a group. You may even come off as aggressive, or abrasive. If you’re isolated from others, you may feel unmotivated or unfulfilled.

If you have a low level of extroversion, you may also enjoy being around people, but you likely prefer receiving or giving one-to-one personal attention.

You likely prefer to pick and choose the quality and number of the people you work with or whom you call friends. You also may feel comfortable working on individual assignments. You may likely excel at brainstorming and problem-solving. You may also tend to be a good written communicator.

At the same time, though, you may find it hard to work in a team. When others ask you to share your thoughts in meetings, you may feel anxiety, especially if you haven’t had time to prepare.

Since you may require more time alone, including in your personal life, you may struggle in your relationships with others.

Depending on where you fall on the spectrum of extroversion, you can enjoy benefits from either end of the scale. Most people exhibit a blend of these traits.

• But, for you to take the best advantage of your traits, what needs must you satisfy?
• If you fail to do this what will happen?
• And how can you further use what you have learned to your advantage?

I’ll answer those questions in tomorrow’s column.

Note: This article is part of a series on getting to know yourself using the big five personality model. 

61 Years Ago, a Brilliant Psychologist Defined the Big 5 Model of Personality. It’s the Foundation of Emotional Intelligence

How Emotionally Intelligent People Use the Big 5 Trait of Openness to Better Understand Themselves

How Emotionally Intelligent People Use ‘Openness’ to Achieve Greater Focus and Lower Stress

Do You Live to Work or Work to Live? Your Answer Can Reveal What’s Holding You Back in Work–and Life

Do You Love Structure or Hate It? Your Answer Can Help You Identify Your Triggers and Reduce Stress