Most of us know at least something about success, but many of us don't really want to discuss failure or even think about it.

Failure is something we want to hide, to lock up behind closed doors.

Failure makes us feel ashamed, vulnerable and apologetic.

But why is our relationship to failure so negative?

Successful people agree that at the core of all success is failure--that every failure, if we learn our lessons well, will lead us to our successful self.

So why are we so negative about failure? How can we reset our thinking?

We need a new understanding of what failure really means. We need to grasp that it doesn't mean game over but try again, this time with more experience.

And if that's true, failure is the opportunity for us to begin again intelligently.

To do so, though, we need to learn the reasons why we fail. Here are a few of the most common:

1. A fixed mindset. It's satisfying to believe that what you know and how you know it is always the right way, but of course we don't know it all. Instead we need a growth mindset, one that believes there's always something to learn, something to grow with, something to get better at. it doesn't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't stop.

2. Stagnant development. Most of us can get pretty far on our natural strength, gifts and talents. But at some point we may discover we don't have the skills we need to keep advancing, and we find ourselves at a standstill. To grow, we need to always keep developing ourselves. If we stop learning we stop growing.

3. No clear purpose. if you aren't sure where you're going, it's natural to get lost, over and over again. To briefly wander off the path is one thing, but to not have a goal, a purpose, doesn't allow you to plan. And, as the old saying goes, when you fail to plan you are planning to fail. Your purpose is the place where your deep determination meets the impact you want to make.

4. Negative thinking. Few things are more destructive. Nothing ever good has ever come from negative thinking; instead, it feed our shame and vulnerabilities. If you want to succeed, learn the power of positivity and what it can do when you are trying to achieve something difficult. Think of failure as unfinished success.

5. Lack of productivity. This makes perfect sense. Without action, there is no productivity; without productivity, there's no achievement; without achievement, there's no success. Your future is created by what you do today, not by what you do tomorrow. Nothing will work unless you do. Even a little progress each day can yield big results.

6. Lack of motivation. If you don't want to fail, you have to start working toward success. If it's important to you, you'll find it within you to get it done. If not, you'll find excuses--and then failure is just around the corner.

7. Shortage of confidence. Without confidence, where you are going to get the strength to move forward? Confidence is especially needed when failure presents itself. Your confidence is the most important factor in your achievement.

Failure will present itself to all of us sooner or later. But knowing how to respond, is up to us.

Published on: Nov 17, 2016