If there is a more unpleasant job for a chief executive officer than having to dismiss an employee, I don't know what it is. I have fired probably 25 people over the years, and it still isn't easy. Unfortunately, though, the chore is an integral part of being in charge, and those of us who hate doing it can't escape that fact. What we can do is to come up with some techniques that make the process a little less harrowing.

The first time I had to dismiss an employee was 25 years ago, and to this day it ranks as my worst management experience. I felt like an executioner who had botched the job. And in retrospect, I did everything wrong from beginning to end.

At the time, I was founder/president of a computer services firm, and the vice-president I'll call Joe just wasn't meeting schedules. Several of our best people had resigned because they couldn't get along with him, and the entire staff had agreed that it would be best for all concerned if Joe left. So I took a deep breath and asked him to come into my office. That was the first mistake -- two hours later he was still there. I thought it would be too hard on Joe to say right away that I was letting him go, so I decided to get into it gradually. I told hom I'd noticed that customers were complaining about not getting their work on time, and I felt he had been too tough on his people. Joe's response was to tell me that he'd do better in the future.He assured me that I wouldn't have these problems with him again, and started to get up. The terrible realization hit: I was being so vague that Joe thought he was just being reprimanded.

That threw me off balance, and I found myself on the defensive. Maybe I was being too hasty. Maybe I should give him another chance. But no, we as a staff had agreed the action was justified. I couldn't back out at this point or I'd look like a total coward. So I took another deep breath and told Joe point-blank that he was being dismissed.Then I mumbled something about his colleagues feeling he should leave the organization. He became incensed, and said he thought he had been reporting to me, and if he was being terminated because of his colleagues, why weren't they in here doing the job? In an attempt to justify my position, which was weakening with each passing second, I started reciting more specific examples of why I was not happy with his performance. We ended up arguing back and forth over points that weren't even central to the reasons for his dismissal. In the course of all this, I told Joe he should get himself better organized and do more realistic planning so that he would not continue to overcommit himself. He was quick to let me know in no uncertain terms just what I could do with my advice. As far as he was concerned I should have thought about giving it before I had made up my mind to discharge him.He was right, of course.

By now, Joe had me on the ropes. He bore in by complaining that I had never given him a hint, let alone a warning, that I was unhappy with his performance. Again, he was right. I should have. But next to firing people, what I hated most was to reprimand them. By the end of the two hours, I was wringing wet, apologizing profusely for the way I had mishandled the interview, but at least I stuck to my guns about his leaving the company. I also vowed that I would never go through anything like that again.