Everyone has that one friend or family member who appears to always be happy and in a good mood. Makes you sick, doesn't it? But seriously, what is it about these people that keep them in a perpetual state of optimism and positivity?

Well, besides being jovial and seeing the glass as half full, happy people are masters of managing emotions and thoughts. They benefit greatly from intuition and emotional intelligence, which act as a natural force-field to deflect drama.

They also have solid boundaries that keep them safe from risky situations and undesirable people. When running on all cylinders, an emotionally-healthy person is rarely the victim of circumstances.

If any of that sounds inspiring on your journey toward self-improvement, I offer you four personal development strategies to increase your boundaries and eliminate drama from your work and life.

First, do a self-assessment of your situation

Do an honest self-appraisal of whatever is currently making you feel threatened. What makes you feel that way? Process your thoughts carefully and drill down until you get to the root of the matter, going below the symptom-level. We're not talking stress or fear, that's evident. Instead, what specifically is stressing you out or making you worried ? That's your cycle.

Make a list of unresolved issues

Write down anything that needs closure in your life and the steps you'll take to get there. Perhaps getting over a horrific job or relationship or a bad business deal that left you in debt. Whatever the case that still has a grip on your emotionally, as you work through those issues, be sure to break the list down into small and manageable parts. Resolve each issue separately instead of feeling frustrated by viewing the pile of issues as a mountain of unsolvable problems.

Leave the past in the past.

Sometimes we can't move forward because we're stuck in the past. If this is the case, break free from preconceived notions that you have about yourself based on what other people say or what you think they are saying. None of that matters and may quite possibly be drama that you have been scripting in your head. Deal in the factual and the here and now. 

Stop being a 'yes' person

Remind yourself that it's OK to say "No" to anyone if the request interferes with your beliefs, goals, passions, or even your schedule. You do not have to be a yes-person for anyone; it takes too much effort and leaves you frustrated. Offer resistance when those beliefs are threatened. You can tell the person gently without being harsh, but assertiveness may be necessary to draw the line. 

Published on: Jul 27, 2018
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