If someone just read you the riot act or you had your you-know-what handed to you by a boss or a peer, it's human to lick your wounds and process your thoughts. Just don't dwell there too long or you may venture into victim mentality.

Recovering emotionally from a challenging work episode doesn't happen with a flip of the switch. But you must move on at some point to keep your sanity.

Here are five game-changing ways resilient people manage their emotions and bounce back to true form.

1. They first assess their situation.

Resilient people use their emotional intelligence to do an honest self-appraisal of the situation(s) that may still be making them feel threatened. They process their thoughts carefully and drill down until they get to the root of the matter. Question for you: What is it about your situation that makes you feel the way you do? If something unresolved still lingers, nip that problem in the bud right away. If you don't, you'll feel perpetually frustrated and angry.

2. They stop the drama playing in their head.

While healthy egos may take a hit in crisis, resilient minds recover quickly by reframing. What is that, you ask? Think of it as a technique to "tell yourself a different story" and come up with a different interpretation. This helps snuff out the drama that you may be scripting in your head. So deal in the factual (what's really true) and the here and now. Leave the ghosts of your past in the past.

3. They have remarkably healthy boundaries.

Perhaps what hit you so hard was due to your lack of setting limits on others. Maybe you were falsely accused of something that could've been avoided. The most resilient people recover from bad situations by saying "no" to anyone who interferes with their goals, schedules, and especially their values and beliefs. So remind yourself you don't have to be a yes-person for anyone; it takes too much effort and leaves you frustrated. Offer resistance when your beliefs are threatened. Push back firmly but not harshly, and draw clear lines in the sand.

4. They don't let guilt control them.

Once they clear their side of the fence with honesty and integrity, resilient people don't allow themselves to feel guilty about things that have nothing to do with them. They know they are not responsible for the actions and drama of others, and they never beat themselves up for something someone else did.

5. They reevaluate their professional relationships.

Resilient people are smart enough to reconsider the risks and rewards of their networks, so that it keeps them safe and serves them well. Your best bet to avoid future finger-pointing is to seek out an inner circle of supportive and encouraging colleagues and weed out controlling or needy takers who care only about themselves.

Published on: Sep 20, 2016
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