Brain Science: The Key to Your Overall Happiness and Success Comes Down to Ending This Behavior

One common behavior that might be flying under your radar could also be sabotaging your business: complaining. Yes, those little grumbles and gripes that seem harmless at first glance can actually pack a punch later if gone unchecked.

It’s a scenario I’ve seen repeatedly coaching executives and founders. You’re hustling hard to build your business, rallying your team, and tackling challenges head-on. But, before you know it, you start hearing whispers of discontent. Those complaints, big or small, start getting louder and spreading like wildfire, dragging down morale, killing productivity, and putting a damper on the entrepreneurial spirit you’ve worked hard to foster in your team.

Complaining is a big deal, and it can mess with your success and the success of your business. Here are four ways complaining will manifest and why you should stop it immediately:

1. Complainers focus too much on the negative

Complaining individuals often have a perpetual dark cloud hanging over them. When the team discusses possibilities for making a new project work, complainers immediately focus on all the potential pitfalls without acknowledging the solutions posed. If someone is consistently negative, complains without offering solutions, and sees problems in everything, that’s a huge red flag.

​2. Complainers lack accountability

People who complain often do so because they lack self-awareness. They don’t exercise responsibility and own up to “their stuff” when “their stuff” is at fault. Therefore, their MO is to complain, criticize, and blame. Complainers can’t admit to their own mistakes and will blame their colleagues (or subordinates, if they’re a manager) when something goes wrong, even if it’s not based on reality. They are simply not accountable for their own actions.

3. Complainers thrive on drama

If someone is consistently involved in conflicts or gossip or creates unnecessary stress on others, that’s a complainer. Picture a colleague who turns every minor disagreement into a full-blown soap opera, making collaboration challenging. That’s drama for you, and it’s toxic.

4. Complainers like to control 

Complainers may try to control situations and people around them. For example, you propose a new strategy to cut down on expenses, but the complainer resists, poking holes at all the reasons it won’t work (see No. 1). Moreover, they’ll insist on doing things their way, which breaks up morale and puts a halt on collaboration.

According to decades-old research conducted by Stanford University, complaining can cause the hippocampus, a crucial area of the brain responsible for problem-solving and intelligent thought, to shrink. Damage to the hippocampus can lead to severe consequences, particularly considering that it is one of the primary regions of the brain affected by Alzheimer’s disease.

If you’re the complainer, the best course of action is to discontinue complaining and instead focus on resolving its root causes. If you’re on the receiving end of too much complaining, your best bet to stop it is to encourage the individual(s) to take responsibility for finding a solution.

Stop complaining by asking one question

One practical question to ask them is, “What are you going to do about it?” This may cause some complainers to become flustered and walk away, as they may have been hoping for someone else to solve the problem for them. However, some complainers may take the initiative to resolve the issue once they realize that they are the cause of conflict and frustration for others.

Remember, signs of complaining don’t always mean someone is irredeemable. People can change, and sometimes, addressing the issue directly can lead to positive transformations. However, being aware of a toxic behavior like complaining helps you navigate workplace dynamics more effectively.