This 7-Word Phrase Is a Sign of High Emotional Intelligence, According to Experts
Emotional intelligence comes in handy when choosing the right words at just the right time.
EXPERT OPINION BY MARCEL SCHWANTES, INC. CONTRIBUTING EDITOR, EXECUTIVE COACH, SPEAKER, AND AUTHOR @MARCELSCHWANTES
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What sets apart the most successful people in the world? Knowledge, intelligence, drive, creativity, and vision certainly count, but their emotional intelligence may weigh the heaviest.
Plenty of research has shown that emotional intelligence is that rare skill that can help you build and strengthen relationships, defuse conflict, and improve overall job satisfaction.
But there’s more. People with emotional intelligence also have a knack for choosing the right words at just the right time to tilt the conversation to their advantage.
Respond with this 7-word phrase
For example, psychology experts suggest that when used properly, this seven-word phrase demonstrates that you may have higher emotional intelligence than most people:
Could you tell me more about that?
It’s used at that key point in a conversation when you may not necessarily agree or see something the same way as the other person, so you dig deeper. For many of us, the default mode is to cut it short and win over the argument with a rebuttal and persuade the person to our point of view. This tactic also is lacking in self-awareness, which really works against you.
Individuals who lack self-awareness–a big component of emotional intelligence–tend to prioritize their own perspectives and opinions during conversations, often disregarding others’ thoughts and feelings. In contrast, those with high emotional intelligence exhibit a greater interest in understanding others and valuing their perspectives as much as their own.
Let curiosity kick in
When you inspect that phrase more closely, it’s in the form of a question. And that’s because emotional intelligence and curiosity go hand in hand.
Albert Einstein famously said, “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” Curiosity is a fundamental human trait that drives exploration, learning, and the desire to understand the world around us. It may also give you the edge in a conversation.
Harvard Business Review reports that people with a higher “curiosity quotient” are more inquisitive and generate more original ideas, and this thinking style leads to higher levels of knowledge acquisition over time.
Asking a question like “Could you tell me more about that?” with a genuine interest in learning encourages open-mindedness and a willingness to consider alternative viewpoints. This question prompts individuals to challenge assumptions, question the status quo, and explore unconventional ideas. This openness to new possibilities fosters the ability to think outside the box.
It leads to fewer decision-making mistakes
According to research by Francesca Gino at the Harvard Business School, curious leaders who ask more inquisitive questions like “Could you tell me more about that?” make fewer decision-making errors. Gino states that we are “less likely to fall prey to confirmation bias … and to stereotyping people” when our curiosity goes into overdrive. Curiosity has these positive effects because it leads us to generate alternatives.
In summary, infusing this simple seven-word question into daily dialogue encourages creating a judgment-free atmosphere that values exploration and open-mindedness, which businesses, leaders, and entrepreneurs can unlock to their full potential.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
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